Dream Come True

7:01 PM Edit This 3 Comments »
I think I've said this before, but Jason and I shared a love of Dave Matthews Band. It was the music of choice on the ride down to NC and Some Devil came out when we were living there. We both spent quite a few dark nights listening to key songs from that album. And when we moved to South Dakota, part of the plan was to go see him live. Someday. Which never happened. I've still harbored a desire to do so and when this opportunity came up, it came at the best possible time. I had finally let him go and started to live my life, you know? So I felt like this was my time to just go and do.

So excited! I went with what amounted to three strange guys. One of which was the husband of a girl that I sponsor, so that wasn't too weird, his brother and a friend of theirs. It was so much fun! We left at noon, ate lunch right outside of town and got to know each other a bit. I'm SO much less shy now, which I'm eternally grateful for. I can TALK to people now, what a gift that is. We drove down to Omaha and had been told to go to a place called the Old Mattress Factory before the concert - which was right across the street. We got there around four, parked there for the night and the guys commenced to drink beer and tell old college stories which were hilarious. I didn't have a desire to drink whatsoever and it was so freeing! They gave me the keys to the Suburban before they even got to the bar. Which was flattering to me - that they trusted my sobriety, even when I don't sometimes.

Many beers and laughs later, we got to the event center and about forty-five minutes later, the concert started and it was all that I'd ever hoped for in live music. They were energetic, entertaining, totally fulfilled my desire like none other. They are better live than they are on CD, and I think I've always known that. I call that a mark of a good band - to sound as good, if not better - live, than recording the shit out of their songs. I was dancing. And I didn't care how I looked, who saw me, what people thought. I was there to enjoy myself to the fullest and I think I did.

The most amazing thing, however, was that I got to have that Jason moment. The three guys had all gone to get beer and the minute they left, the band played the song that always epitomizes Jason for me. So Damn Lucky. I closed my eyes and thought of him, thought of our life together, thanked him for sharing that short time with me and felt like I was alone in an arena of 20,000 people. It wasn't a crying kind of moment, it was a completing moment. And as SOON as the song was done, the guys came back. I got to have that all to myself and it was perfect. And I tell you what, I don't know if God comes to Dave Matthews concerts, but I'm calling that a God moment. He gave me what I needed to finish that piece of the puzzle.

The guys passed out about half hour into the drive home and I listened to music and sang myself home. And for the first time in a long time, went to bed without all the rigamarole that surrounds going to bed. Peacefully.

Since we didn't have any patients today, I ended up taking the whole day off; coffee with M, lunch with a whole gang of people that we somehow ended up connecting with, a short stop to Scheels, nap at M's, a meeting and now I'm home with freshly clean sheets, a clear and rested mind and just sheer contentment. It really was a dream come true for me. The good things that keep happening to me continue to amaze me, but I'm taking them as they come. And I'm not looking back.

Oh. And the cover of Sledgehammer? Yeah. AWESOME.


Nels said...

What a wonderful experience for you.

I am SO jealous. Sledgehammer is one of my favorite songs... and you got to hear it performed by one of my favorite bands.

I was just telling my wife isn't it funny how everything works out sometimes?

Holly said...

That sounds like the best way to complete a catharsis.

You bet God comes to DMB shows. Personally, I think she attends numerous shows every day. I know darn well she was at the Murder City Devils show when I was at SXSW many years ago. (She really is a fan of punk and works in mysterious ways).

It's so very good to read about your journey. This post brought a sense of peace to my mind - and YOU, my dear Kate, are spreading that peace.

Hugs to you.

E said...

And you know..... we all trust your sobriety!

The soup would probably be just fine without the wine. Maybe soak the strawberries in a small bit of balsamic vinegar. The idea is to give the buttermilk a little something to react to. It creates a fizzy froth. If you use balsamic make it a really good balsamic and don't use as much as the wine..just a very gentle coating I'd say...