Planning For the Future

8:38 AM Edit This 21 Comments »
I was talking to my older friend J the other night. He's been living in this gal's basement for 17 years now. If the lady was a lesbian, it would be way too much like me and Gay Boyfriend and we'd have to call the Sci Fi channel to have someone check out the velocoflux capacator around here to find out what's going on.

I digress.

So, I came home and told Gay Boyfriend that I might live with him forever and he said, "Oh. I'd have to get my woman a wheelchair lift!" (He says this in man voice which sends me into peels of laughter every time) And you'd be all like, "Get your gay ass down here and eat your supper! And you better eat all your vegetables this time. I don't make them for MY health you know! Dirty Bastard."
"And when we hit the nursing home, we'll have to have adjoining rooms." And I said, "What? We can't share one?" And he says, "Hell no! What if there's a hot tech that I want to bang?"
You'd be all, "Watch out for that man in the next room. He's gonna touch yer wanger. But if you don't like guys, I'd do ya. Sure as shit I would."

21 comments:

Kristen said...

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

Sweet.

BrianAlt said...

Very symbiotic.

Daisee579 said...

Love it. It actually sounds healthier than most marriages, so you might have the right idea!!! LOL

touch yer wanger - awesome

Summer said...

I agree with Daisee. Sounds much healthier than most marriages.

GreenCanary said...

I wish Gay Boyfriend was my Gay Boyfriend, too. And also that he was a drag queen because I've always wanted one of those.

buffalodick said...

If it ain't broke, don't fix it...

Oxen Cox said...

You said wanger. Makes me chuckle. Those gays are so damn fickle... always looking for a hook up. But you have to respect their consistency.

MsDarkstar said...

*giggle
Love it!

Sweetly Single said...

LOL If you really think about the way you two act is the way old married couples end up acting after they retire

LiLu said...

I am so jealous of all the time you get to spend with your GBF! Mine is 3,000 miles away. You sound exactly like we did in college. Everyone called us Will & Grace... those were the days!

Dingo said...

You and GB could have so much fun riding up and down the stairs on that wheelchair lift. I'm convinced that the wheelchair lift is the new bingo.

Hillary said...

wanger is pretty much the best word ever

justjp said...

"He's gonna touch yer wanger"

I am scared and excited all at the same time. HA!

Sparkling Red said...

You sure could do worse than living with GB for the rest of your life. He sounds like a fine friend indeed.

I love the pictures of cranky old ladies. :-)

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Being locked up inside because it's too cold outside does crazy things to people. Thankfully, you are just reduced to planning. =)

[F]oxymoron said...

A win-win situation!

JoLee said...

such love! he'll get a mobile stair chair for you and you'll get adjoining rooms so he can bang all the hot techs he wants... what a good friendship!

wunelle said...

I just have to ask... How does one live in someone's basement for 17 years?

But your plan may just work!

carrster said...

What I want to know is WHERE ARE YOUR HAPPY FEET??

O'mama said...

Sounds like a sweet relationship that regularly cracks you up, makes you take a look at the absurdity that it life and makes you write some funny shit!

So, what - Golden Girls meets Will and Grace for the future? Just think about all you could write about!

E said...

Now this is a sweet Valentine!