Therapy Tuesday
8:26 AM Edit This 19 Comments »
The question of the day was, "And who are you, really?" She asked me on a scale of 1- 10 with 10 being completely real, how I would rank today. I immediately responded with, "Oh, an 8 or 9." to her nodding head. Because yeah. That's where I am today. Even a year ago, I couldn't have said that with such assurance. I might have thought it, but I wouldn't have been confident in just blurting it out.
And if I'm real, then who am I? I'm not really sure how to answer that. I used to use my employment to define me. I was a Youth Director. As if that said it all. Then I was, for all practical purposes, a Widow. Then I was Crazy. Then I was an Alcoholic. Then I was In Recovery. So, who am I? I am not sure I have words to define that, but she wants me to. Define it. How do you do that? I told her I am Kate All The Time. And she said, "But who is Kate?" So I shot her in the head with my lazer eyeballs and she told me to think about it. Hrmph.
And who are YOU, my dear readers? How do you define you? What does that mean? Who am I? How do you see me? It's such a simple question, but I can't seem to answer it.
And guess what? I got to have a Pink Drink with Captain Crab last night. And it was lovely. So, so lovely.
And if I'm real, then who am I? I'm not really sure how to answer that. I used to use my employment to define me. I was a Youth Director. As if that said it all. Then I was, for all practical purposes, a Widow. Then I was Crazy. Then I was an Alcoholic. Then I was In Recovery. So, who am I? I am not sure I have words to define that, but she wants me to. Define it. How do you do that? I told her I am Kate All The Time. And she said, "But who is Kate?" So I shot her in the head with my lazer eyeballs and she told me to think about it. Hrmph.
And who are YOU, my dear readers? How do you define you? What does that mean? Who am I? How do you see me? It's such a simple question, but I can't seem to answer it.
And guess what? I got to have a Pink Drink with Captain Crab last night. And it was lovely. So, so lovely.
19 comments:
I define who I am by the human emotions that make me feel alive. I use emotional terms in describing myself - "I love...". "I hate...". "I feel good when I..." "It makes me sad when...", etc.
It's too easy to get boxed in by labels, so I don't use them to define myself anymore - for example, I am "a teacher", "a father", "a recovered alcoholic", etc - but those aren't the things that make me who I am. So instead I say "I love to teach", "my kids are the reason I get up in the morning", "I made mistakes in the past and I grew and learned from them", etc.
I think the best way I could describe who I am is simply by listing the things that make me happy (in no particular order): watching a sunrise; spending time with my family; climbing to the top of a mountain and looking down over the valley and feeling overwhelmed by the beauty and wonder of it all; teaching; learning; sitting by a running creek watching the water go by and reflecting on the amazingness of how life sustains itself; listening to the sounds of birds in the morning, crickets at night, leaves crunching beneath my feet as I walk through the woods; the look of trust and innocence in the eyes of a child; watching the way the sunlight reflects off the lake in late afternoon; the sound of a bat hitting a baseball...
...etc etc. So I guess I mostly define who I am by the things I love. For me it's all simple things, because that's who I am.
What do you love, Kate? What makes you happy? That's who you are. It doesn't matter how others see you.
Lazer eyeballs come in handy sometimes.
I'm using mine on you now so I don't have to think about it. My brain got all hurty.
Ignorant people use categories and labels..What we were is not who we are, or will be... The one label that fits all is Complex. We all are many things, and act differently in different situations. This separates us from other life on this planet who operate on inherited instincts..
I don't really have one specific label of who I am. Like you, my employment used to define who I was. Now? I'm so many things and labels and duties and jobs and quirks and half assed hobbies, nothing really describes me. I can't change me, no matter how I've tried.
I think trying to "sum up" your self in a concrete definition would be hard for anyone!
You are what you love and not what loves you back.
I'm glad you had a Pink Drink date.
Labels and descriptions are funny things, just read my profile... I can be called many things. But the thing I really love to be called is friend. That is who I think you are too.
( I also like to be called early for dinner)
;-)
You are who you are, who you are, who you are...
;) Now, seriously, I think no one likes labels, they constrain and limit, who would want that? I think as long as we are good people, do things out of good intentions and are kind and good to others, we can be, like, do, say, whatever we want and it still won't define us. I like to say I am a human being, and as such I am constantly changing, evolving and hopefully getting better. Vague works for me these days, as you can see ;)
a dreamer, a girl full of hope, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife, a sister in law, a worrier, a happy spirit, friend, niece, ...Really, I just don't know.
I'm anything I choose to be....and so are you.
i'm gonna answer, not because i have a comprehensive answer, but because i wanna see what it feels like to 'blurt out' what comes to mind...
i'm a plodding, spiritually hungry, child who has a propensity toward both slaptick dumbass things and meditation/reflection, i have a God crutch under my arm and don't give a rip, kindness matters to me and it's what i try to give often, i'm a messy marvin and a tidy terry...yes, it's a both/and situation for me. i'm a rural walker stuck in the city and the practice of gratitude helps me daily....whew!
Interesting question.
I am by nature (in spite of being a blogger) a private individual who only lets the real me out when I'm among friends and family.
Otherwise, I really have to warm up to a person before they get to know the real me.
I am whatever adjective you can come up with to describe a person in a positive way.
Above all though, I am loyal to a fault to those I care about and willing to go above and beyond when needed.
Pink drinks and a cigarette in the rain!
Oh, Yeah!
i'd give me a 2
hooray...
In public, I'm melissalion. In private, I'm sweets and mom and bff.
Reminds me of the Chorus Line lyric:
Who am I anyway?
Am I my resume?
That is a picture of a person I don't know.
What does he want from me?
What should I try to be?
So many faces all around and here we go,
I need this job
Oh God, I need this show.
We are all something different at times. I am:
Father
Husband
Boss
Co-worker
Worker
Director
Teacher
Asshole
The list goes on...
A cow-irker once gave me a magnet upon which was a very wise bit of prose that fits me quite well and which I will transcribe here:
"They say "be yourself" like you know exactly what that is... like you're a toaster or something and there is only that one way to pop out you. Well maybe being me isn't just one thing. Maybe just searching for me is being me and not being them - being themselves... being toasters.
Maybe being me is more like a breakfast cereal variety pack. Maybe that's what I'll be... today.
But tomorrow, who knows? Maybe the blue plate special."
I cannot read the teenytiny "signature" on the bottom of the magnet but I've always thought this captured well what my response would be "who are you?"
Oh, this is difficult. Huh. I don't know if I can do this, either. For me OR for you!
And... I think I need therapy, too...
Ugh. Existentialism. "Who are you and why are you here?" That question is enough to make you mental.
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