Therapy Tuesday On Wednesday
7:57 AM Edit This 15 Comments »
What? Sunday Cooking on Monday and now Therapy Tuesday on Wednesday? What is the blogging world coming to? I swear the internet is on summer vacation. You are my MUSE, internet. My MUSE. That means I pay you to be at my beck and call for inspiration.
Oh wait. I don't pay you.
Whatever. Come back to me.
So, I saw Carolyn yesterday. I only see her every other week now. That's progress, right? Of course right. I've even considered only seeing her once a month. Baby steps, yanno? But she screwed it all up.
We're happily chatting about how much fun I had at the family reunion and how my garden is growing and how I love to sit on the swing in the backyard and read my books and she ruins it by suggesting that perhaps I need to get a life.
What? Being content is not enough? She told me that I have replaced my penchant for chaos, danger and the thrill of constant fear with a boring, pedantic, lonely, hermit-like life. Too far the other way. Are these people NEVER pleased? She also suggested that should I not choose to get out a little, that I am probably headed for another meltdown of epic proportions that she is not sure I will have the tenacity to recover from.
Apparently after the first one, you're statistically screwed from getting better.
She wants me to MOVE. To get to a bigger POND. Where there's more HOPE of meeting people of like mind. And I said no. Because I don't WANT to move. My best friends are here. People who know that bringing me popsicles and orange juice when I have strep throat is not good enough. I want the Farmer's Almanac, too.
Sigh. Work. Always more work to do. I'm not good at going places and meeting people. I need to practice more, I guess. I tried going to the Farmer's Market to meet people, but I was so excited about the asparagus that I forgot I was there to actually TALK to people.
Oh wait. I don't pay you.
Whatever. Come back to me.
So, I saw Carolyn yesterday. I only see her every other week now. That's progress, right? Of course right. I've even considered only seeing her once a month. Baby steps, yanno? But she screwed it all up.
We're happily chatting about how much fun I had at the family reunion and how my garden is growing and how I love to sit on the swing in the backyard and read my books and she ruins it by suggesting that perhaps I need to get a life.
What? Being content is not enough? She told me that I have replaced my penchant for chaos, danger and the thrill of constant fear with a boring, pedantic, lonely, hermit-like life. Too far the other way. Are these people NEVER pleased? She also suggested that should I not choose to get out a little, that I am probably headed for another meltdown of epic proportions that she is not sure I will have the tenacity to recover from.
Apparently after the first one, you're statistically screwed from getting better.
She wants me to MOVE. To get to a bigger POND. Where there's more HOPE of meeting people of like mind. And I said no. Because I don't WANT to move. My best friends are here. People who know that bringing me popsicles and orange juice when I have strep throat is not good enough. I want the Farmer's Almanac, too.
Sigh. Work. Always more work to do. I'm not good at going places and meeting people. I need to practice more, I guess. I tried going to the Farmer's Market to meet people, but I was so excited about the asparagus that I forgot I was there to actually TALK to people.
15 comments:
Comfort zones are hard to give up..I'm in one now, and I have to do something about it...
come visit me in CA. I don't know anyone here since I've only been here 6 months. We can learn to meet people together! AND, you can babysit my 5 month old daughter any time you want/need a baby fix :)
I don't know about this talking to people thing. That seems a little bit much. I know I wouldn't want to do that.
I think it's good for us all to push ourselves outside our comfort zone. Because, inevitably, we all wind up in situations where that comfort zone is removed for us ... and if we haven't already learned how to swim, it can be really, REALLY daunting.
I'm not sure that's the best idea.
Maybe she just wants you to move a little? Like out of the basement of Gay Boyfriend's house... what if you moved to an actual condo or apartment community where you would have to interact with people - at least coming or going...
Your post kind of got to me because I love my comfort zone / hermit like existence and plan on making it even more so with a move so far out in the country people will need a guide to find me. What on earth would Carolyn say about that??
Whatever.....I think you're doing great. She just wants vacation money
I don't know how to think about that. Yes, there is always always work to do, and that's true and healthy. But. I have no training, so it's not like I can say, from my perspective as a therapist...But it seems to me that having a comfortable, supportive community is kind of hugely helpful for not having a meltdown of epic proportions. Or if you do have one, you have people right there to call. Baby steps seems like a good idea to me.
Comfort zones, some people stay in them and some people are always edging out of them. Look, I say a date with asparagus is pretty awesome.
Comfort zones. I spent two years in a hermit comfort zone. I added a few new friends but was still largely a hermit. Then *he* landed on my planet and suddenly two hermits were not so much hermits anymore. Slowly the world is growing. Baby steps, yanno?
I don't think there's anything wrong with having a safe place, and you've obviously made your apartment your haven. It's not like you are holed up inside - has she seen pictures of your garden? And you do get out - quarry anyone? Sounds like she wants you to get into a discomfort zone. Therapists don't always have the right answers for us. Sure, fine - force yourself to have human interaction on both Saturday and Sunday (I'm assuming you get plenty during the week from work) but I'd really look hard at making a major change before doing so.
Hmmm, this is interesting.
Darlin', if you can swing a visit to Texas, we'd LOVE to have you. Just let me know so we can plan a weekend when Mr. POSSLQ is not "on call" for work.
I'm serious.
You know my email... let me know!
I might be wrong, but perhaps she wants you to move because you are too dependent on those around you? Maybe she's thinking that in living elsewhere, away from those who bring you popsicles when you're sick, you will have to learn to fend for yourself all the time. Like a sink or swim thing.
I dunno, just throwing a thought out there. I'm no doctor or anything, just trying to see another side. :)
This kind of surprises me! I guess because I just hang out with my husband all the time and think that's normal. Is it not? Oops!
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