Waiting. I Hate Waiting.

8:58 AM Edit This 14 Comments »
So, after all that hoopla over the weekend, I have to tell you. I didn't get that research job I so badly wanted. I got a perfunctory form email on Friday at 6 p.m. telling me so. I was so disappointed. But I also know that I had a fantastic interview, and that I wouldn't have changed any of my answers, so I chalk it up to not fitting their profile for some reason. I cried. I did. I cried. And I called Dog Girl and asked if I could come over for a little bit. And of course she said yes. I told her I didn't want to hear all the pat responses, "Something better is out there for you." or "It just wasn't the right one if you didn't get it." because I KNOW all that stuff. I do. But I was disappointed and I had to cry for a little bit. Then I promptly got over myself. But what that experience did, was prove to me just how much I need to find a different job. I had been so looking forward to actually using my brain. I don't like getting up in the morning wondering how I'm going to waste 8 1/2 hours of my day before I can go do something halfway stimulating. That's no way to live.
 
This job was a God send when I got it. I know that. The Good Doctor gave me a chance when I was so very, very fragile that I could hardly manage to answer the phone without shaking. It was perfect. And I've grown and matured and he's watched me do it and when my co-worker left, he knew I was ready to run the whole office by myself. And I was. I've been doing it for exactly a year now. But it's not enough. I'm talented in so many ways and it's being wasted right now and that makes me sad. And tired, too. I have every faith that the right job is out there. I really do. But the waiting is getting very tiresome.
 
So in the meantime, I'll just focus on running. Because that's something I CAN control.

14 comments:

clearness said...

Friday at SIX!!! Why on earth would ANYONE break news like that so late in the evening....and on a FRIDAY no less! You don't want to work for someone like that anyway.

badmuthafudruckers said...

I think we are living parallel lives!

Just the other day I was shocked, SHOCKED to hear myself turn down the opportunity to do more of the work I love because the work I don't love is too draining.

I'm sorry this didn't work out for you. You are too cool for a job that isn't challenging enough for you! Keep running - you rock!

Malaise Inc said...

It sounds weird, but I believe that ability to get over yourself is a sign of leaving depression behind.

Court said...

Sending high fives and good energy and whatever else you may need in order to find the new job that fits you and is oh so perfect! I know it is so hard right now, I am trying to do the same thing! So from one job looker to another- GO GET EM!!!!!

Court said...

Sending high fives and good energy and whatever else you may need in order to find the new job that fits you and is oh so perfect! I know it is so hard right now, I am trying to do the same thing! So from one job looker to another- GO GET EM!!!!!

Can do mom said...

Waiting is hard, this I know.

Jobs are hard to find right now but there really IS a job out there that would be perfect for you, even if you have to create that job yourself.

My husband is self-employed, has been for over 26 years and even though this foul economy has thrown our business for a loop, I know he couldn't do it any other way.

Summer said...

Fuck those bastards! If they can't see how GD awesome you are, then fuck them. Sorry. Too much? Anyway, I'm sorry you didn't get it.

carrster said...

oh RATS. I was really hoping that that would come through for you. pFFFFFFT. Well, pooey. I'm glad though that the whole experience has been a good one - putting yourself out there!!

bluebonbon said...

Hey, something will come along believe it or not that will be an even better oportunity for you. I don't know why but life has a way of working itself out...Especially when you're ready for growth.
Keep on running.

Lemon Gloria said...

Oh, I'm sorry. That's very disappointing. And when you are waiting and you have time to think about the waiting, it makes it all seem all the slower. Ugh. Sorry.

melissalion said...

Drag! Well, they will miss you soon enough.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

What a bummer this didn't work out. You have every right to be sad and disappointed and to pout for a week. But, then? You'll pick yourself back up and keep on searching ... because if I know anything about you, I do know that once you make up your mind about something, you'll find a way to do it ... and I have no doubt it'll be that way with finding a new job, too.

The Good Cook said...

Oh, I'm sorry Kate, I know how much you wanted that job. I'm not going to give you any cliches, just say I'm sorry and it's okay that you cried. Of course you cried, why wouldn't you cry? You were disappointed. Then, you put your big girl shoes on and ran a race for the first time in your life.

Woot!

Sparkling Red said...

Been there, done that. Going every day to a job that's not fully engaging can be torturous. You have my sympathy. After many years of wrong jobs, finally God dropped me into the right one. I hope I get to keep it a long time.