Making Plans

9:06 AM Edit This 9 Comments »
This time of year, the most asked question is, "What are you doing for Christmas?" And I know it's just a conversation starter, right? This is just peoples' way of engaging you. It's an acceptable question that should be benign. Is it? It is. I should stop taking offense to it, I suppose. Offense isn't the right word. It's not, but I don't know what the right word is, so offense it is.

Because my answer to that question is, "I don't know." And then people get all bent out of shape and "What? You can't be alone on Christmas! Come to my house! Have dinner with my family!" Because they don't understand that "I don't know." doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to be alone. I could be going to my mom and dad's. That has yet to be determined. My family doesn't play games with the weather. Snow=No Go. Nobody is going to risk life and limb just to get together on a holiday. I could be staying put and having dinner at Symphony Date's house. I've been invited. I've also been invited to a holiday open house that features food, games, movies and just hanging out.

But I also very seriously consider spending the day alone. That prospect doesn't bother me. Not one bit. If I go to dinner at Symphony Date's, I'm certainly not staying 'til all hours. I'll visit and be polite, and probably have a really good time, but I will head home as soon as I can. Because that's who I am. Why all the insistence on people not being alone on a holiday? I feel like I'm somehow morally incompetent to understand this. I almost feel shamed by people when I say I don't mind being alone on Christmas.

Anyone want to weigh in?

9 comments:

melissalion said...

Well, I hope you weren't upset that I asked. I think holidays should be open to interpretation. I mean, I've not spent Christmas with my family in years. It's not that I don't want to, just that other plans have been made. It's a day to be happy, no matter how you do that.

One time a friend told me he was spending Christmas alone and it sounded like the most divine thing ever. I was jealous.

clearness said...

Christmas Day is only a day. If you spend the rest of your year filled with joyful thoughts and do your best to give to the less fortunate then you are living the life of the true Christmas Spirit throughout the year, not only on just ONE day. Do what makes you happy.

Todd said...

i don't know about 'weighing in' dear, but i sure do wish you a happy holiday...or happy winter season and all that.

i really do.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Nothing wrong with being alone, if it's by choice. I often invite people over for Christmas when they have nowhere else to go, but I totally get it if they decline. Some people would rather just be alone, and I respect that.

But I still ask, because sometimes (like our soldier, for example), they're grateful for the invite, and are glad to have a place to spend the holidays.

So I figure it's always better to invite someone and have them decline, than to leave them sitting at home alone wondering why nobody invited them over for Christmas.

Sparkling Red said...

I get the same feeling, like the question "What are you doing for Christmas?" is a test that I might fail.

As a die-hard introvert, getting more introverted as I age, I have no problem with your preference to spend Christmas by yourself. I bet you are good company to yourself. ;-)

Helen said...

How about you answer like this instead:

Thanks for asking. I have several options and haven't decided yet!

That way if that person want's to invite you as well, they will.

Nothing wrong with going or staying, in a crowd or alone. You should do what you really want to do!

feisty said...

my little sis will be alone, and she's happy as can be about that!

Malaise Inc said...

Somewhat off-topic, but you, off all people, should appreciate how family can ruin holidays.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/12/year-kenny-loggins-ruined-christmas.html

justme said...

i feel like Christmas is like any other day. it's just what YOU make of it. if you are more than happy to be on your own, then so be it. i think it's ridiculous with the expectations that we put on ourselves to make it a HUGE deal, when it really doesn't need to be. you can have a great day on your own....you do what YOU want!