Monday Movie Review

9:36 AM Edit This 11 Comments »
I did NOT have a relaxing weekend. I did a lot of fun stuff, but relaxing? No. Both Cowgirl and I have been working nonstop the past two weeks and she hadn't spent much time with her girls and I hadn't seen Munchkin Number 3 for EVER, so she cooked up a plan for Sunday afternoon. It went like this. "Dirty Ben and I are going to take the little girls to a kid movie. Teenage Angst wants to see Black Swan. Can you take her to that? Munchkin Number 3 is going to stay with Lovely Lisa and then we'll all meet back at her house and she's going to cook us dinner." Followed by, "I haven't asked her yet." Hahahah. And that's how it went down. She made enchiladas. I ate too many.

Black Swan? I have not yet formed an opinion. If you haven't been reading long, you don't know that the last movie I saw in the theater was "I Am Legend" like over 2 years ago. And I had nightmares for MONTHS. Dead people? Fine. Ghosts? Fine. Violence? Blood? Sex? Fine. Fine. And fine. But no zombies. I just can't do zombies. But this blog post isn't about zombies.

Black Swan. Weird. Dark. Stark, in fact. Mind bending. I gasped a couple of times. I get the whole premise of it, blah blah blah, but overall, I was not horribly impressed. It was very slow in the beginning. I think there were elements of the story that didn't really need to be emphasized as much as they were, which contributed to the slowness. And then BAM! The ending was happening and it's all coming together and bam! Bam! Bam! I get it already. And then it was done. Teenage Angst had announced before we went in that her friends told her not to get high before she watched it. And I'm like, "Well. Duh. Don't get high anyway." And as we were walking out, I said, "I feel messed up enough. Getting high would have REALLY screwed up the storyline for me." She laughed.

So, as I'm telling you that I was not particularly impressed with the movie, I still can't stop thinking about it and I want to see it again now that I know what happens in the end. You know that kind of movie? So, as soon as it comes out on DVD, I will be renting it. That's how they pull you in. They make you want to watch it again. Double money maker.

Don't you think I should write professional movie reviews? Seriously. Who wants to know about screen shots and camera angles? You want the layperson's view, right?


Anonymous said...

Yes, I want the layperson's view. I want to know what someone who hasn't watched one million movies thinks. Because that's me. I have a 5 year old. I think I've seen four movies in the past five years. I have no idea what's good or not good.

clearness said...

Black Swan is up for too many Golden Globes for me to be interested.

Helen said...

Just say NO to Black Swan. That's my motto.

artemisia said...

I love the Divide and Conquer angle you guys took to handle the kids and see each other!

Summer said...

My friend Brooke had the same opinion. She said it was made even more strange that she was with her mother. Awkward sideways glance as one chic goes down on another.

Kelly Hogaboom said...

Truly seems like an enpornulated misogyny-fest with loads of mommy-blaming and ableism to boot. Actresses at 117 lbs. who lose 20 lbs. for the role. Lots of exploitation. I'll give it a miss!

But it's sad because I have no doubt there are great special effects and a creepy atmosphere etc.

Jen said...

I saw it last weekend and thought: Intense! I don't know that I would like to see it again, but I did think she deserved her Golden Globe for her performance, very believable.

kilax said...

Ha ha, your review cracks me up.

I think you really have to be in the mood to see that sort of movie when you go to see Black Swan. I read a lot about it and knew what to prepare for. I did like that it was not so deep that I couldn't follow it. Ha!

Lemon Gloria said...

You're a very practical advice-giver: "Well. Duh. Don't get high anyway."

I like that!

I haven't seen a movie in theaters in I don't know how long. I would kind of like to see this one, though.

Shelley said...

My (adult) kids wanted to see it, so we did, a couple of weeks ago. I watched a good portion from behind my hands - I hate stabby bloody movies. It was weird and I definitely won't be renting it when the DVD comes out...but at least I know what everyone is talking about.

Glad you and Cowgirl got to spend some time together, and enchiladas! Nuff said. :)

Kristen said...

"I'm not sure how I feel about this movie. It kinda messed me up a little bit. Don't get high before you go see it."

That's as good a review as any. The funny thing is that I was just about to look up a review of this movie and here it is! Thank you!

I'm going to see it on Thursday and will be sure not to get high beforehand. I cannot promise anything about afterward however.