Through the Looking Glass Lense

12:14 PM Edit This 4 Comments »
Okay. I have to admit. Most of my funny posts end up being about my cats. And I have a fear of being the crazy cat lady. Sadly, I think that time is coming, and I'd like to beg off for a few more years, but I have to tell you this one.

My bathroom is small. Very small. Probably 4' X 4' plus the tiniest shower you've ever seen. The shower is right next to the toilet, and since there's no place to prop your foot up whilst shaving, I pull back the curtain a bit and use the toilet seat for leverage. Sure, water gets all over the floor, but I'm prepared for that. I've got towels everywhere. (No step out rug, Kiki seems to think of those as immediate litter boxes. Every single one of them. Within a day.)

Dax has got a fascination with water that I don't understand in a cat, but he'll jump up and try to drink out of the faucet when I'm brushing my teeth and a lot of times, will hop into the sink and lick at the droplets left in the bowl. He's weird.

So, yesterday morning I'm taking a shower and I open the curtain and stick my leg out. Nothing unusual about that. I find that Dax is in the sink, peering at me like he wants to check the shower out. I'm thinking - no way. He's not going to like it and then freak out and probably scratch me, so as I'm yanking the curtain closed, he makes a leap for it and lands between the toilet tank and the wall (this is like one foot of wall. Maybe one foot) and gets stuck. People. I'm sopping wet here. The toilet seat has banged down on my toe and my glasses have flown to God knows where from the top of the toilet tank.

You see the mess?

Dax frees himself and goes yelping off to the living room, I try to remain calm and finish my shower. I mean. What do you do? Stop everything and then start over? Let's not forget to mention that I got up late. I mean, really.

I get done and start looking for my glasses (while I'm limping, my toe still hurts today) and find that they are behind the toilet and they are missing a lense. For my glasses wearing friends, here's one for you. How do you find your glasses when you don't have them on? It's near impossible. So, I tromp, soaking wet, into the kitchen for the old pair. Then I'm literally on my hands and knees in the bathroom, looking for this lense. I'm still soaking wet. Why I didn't dry off to look, I don't know. I'm wet, I'm starting to get cold, my glasses are broken, my cat is meowing because his tail is wet and I am not happy. So not happy.

The missing lense? In the toilet. Yep. Why I thought to look there? I don't know.


CatKrny said...

That's like a list of reasons why you should close the bathroom door when showering.

Malaise Inc said...

Yeah. I was out working in the pasture one day, only to have my glasses knocked off my face when I turn around right into a low hanging branch. So there I am, blind as a bat, standing in tall grass, wondering how I am going to find them without stepping on them in the process. Luckily, I wasn't out there completely alone and got help. But, still, that was a feeling of vulnerability.

lacochran said...

Amusing. :)

I had a cat who used to sit on the side of the tub when I took a bath and swish her tail into the water. Just her tail. Then she'd go off, leaving a trail of water along the hardwood floors.


Go figger.

carrster said...

That sounds like a MONDAY story!

Hah - pretty funny though. ;)