More of the Weekend

6:38 PM Edit This 13 Comments »
I had a lot of fun at the Halloween Dance. I love, love, love dancing. I don't remember doing much of that in college or in my early twenties. I worked for the church for God's sake. I didn't have time! So, any chance to wiggle it just a little bit is very welcome in my life today. Now, I'm just waiting for the Christmas Dance.
And here's Mr. Internet for those of you with curious minds. I had coffee with Dirty Ben, a friend I have not talked about before, on Saturday morning and he asked me how the sex was Friday night and I said, "Not very satisfying." (which it wasn't - yuck) and he said, "Figures." But Mr. Internet did call me tonight to tell me he was home. If anything, he follows through on what he says. There's hope in that, but I do know that I do not "like him, like him." And that means something and whatever, I'm not ready to do anything about it yet. For the time being, he can have me and I can practice liking someone.

And then I went to the symphony with my friend Steve on Saturday night. An excuse to dress up, show the girls, eat decadent food and I'm telling you, the audience was on their feet before the conductor was off the podium after the Tschiakovsky. Steve takes me to the symphony because he gets a kick out of watching me watch the show. He says my breathing is orgasmic when I hear a good symphony and I have to admit, this one was orgasmic. I'm so lucky to live in a small city that boasts an incredible orchestra.
Oh, and this is after crying for a good two hours at Tallgrass after opening the letter telling me I didn't get the job that I thought the interview for went so well. I'm still a little sad today. My mind goes from one extreme to the other. "Well, it's just not time for me to move on." to, "You're a total fucking loser who lives in a gay man's basement with no children and no hope for the fucking future." It's been a hard weekend, putting all that in perspective. Yes, it has.

13 comments:

Shania said...

Ouch. Not hard on yourself are ya? Be a little nicer, you deserve it. Anybody who wears such fabulous glasses can't be too bad!

MsDarkstar said...

Hi... I'm new here and I've gone back and read everything up to current.

Please know the job thing isn't a reflection on you as a person or on your skills... it speaks to how the market is right now. I've been out of work for the longest time EVER for me (5 weeks, going on 6)and can't get interviews to save my life. So, if you got an interview, you're doing well.

You're beautiful, intelligent and a survivor. The job door will open when it's time.

Holly said...

Darling, despite your tears after reading that letter you look rocking.

Those letters always suck b/c it feels unresolved (to me anyway). I want to know the why??

You are no different than most, with the emotional up and down. I swing pretty fast from one tree to the next (happy tree, mad tree, sad tree, anxiety tree, etc.). You are a strong chica and don't ever forget that!

saratogajean said...

That kid *does* look a little diseased.

But in a cute way.

E said...

Bad sex is not worth having sweetie. It makes you feel less than you are and way less than you are worth.
As long as you are with Mr Internet you can't find Mr Head Over Heals in Love for the Rest of Your Life.
I like Dirty Ben...."Figures"...man of few words....

Sweetly Single said...

You look gorgeous!! All that counts is you had fun at the dance and even more fun at the orchestra! I'm sorry to hear about the job... but I am sure it must have been hard for them to decide.... and it gives you good confidence for when the right one comes along.

rudecactus said...

Looks like a great weekend. Lookin' good!

stoogepie said...

You look awesome.

It's too bad about the interview. Yeah, you swing from one extreme to the other. Am I the only one who thinks that's a lot better than spending your life in the middle?

Megkathleen said...

You look hot! Sorry about the job - that blows. At least you had the symphony to distract after getting the letter!

Dingo said...

I'm missing something. Is Mr. Internet the guy you booty called? So the booty call sex wasn't good? I'm going to have to go back and re-read. As for Sweet Melissa, you need to have GBF see if his gaydar goes off around her ex because she's a hottie!

Sorry you are feeling down about the job. But if the symphony taught you anything it's that the best music/life is about the ebbs and flows. My god, that was cheesy wasn't it? But you know what I mean.

GreenCanary said...

Oh, girlie. I'm sorry about the job. That totally blows. But just know that something better will come along. Hang in there, small fry.

Matt said...

you do look hot!!!

and yeah, if you dont like mr internets, then you dont like him...but you shouldnt lead him on.

Meigan said...

You look great! And Mr. Internet is a cutie! Sorry to hear about the interview, but don't let it get you down. There'll be other chances.