Moving Right Along
8:37 AM Edit This 16 Comments »
I talked to 3.0 on the phone last night and we're going to have dinner together this Friday night! He was very easy to talk to and I hope he is in person, too.
Gay Boyfriend asked me this morning who I was talking to last night and I told him it was some new guy and he asked if I'd broken up with 1.0 yet. And I said no. The disdain emanated from him like humidity in July. Smothering. Instantly, my livid-o-meter started going off and I knew the things that were going to come out of my mouth were not going to be pleasant, so I said nothing at all. He's never had a successful long-term relationship. Why would I take advice from him? Followed closely by, "Who are you to judge me?"
Am I wrong here? Do I have to officially break it off with 1.0 in order to meet this new guy? I figure he dug his own grave through bad behavior. Is it up to me to point out to him why I don't care to continue to go out with him? And if you've been reading for any amount of time, you know I absolutely don't know the answer to this one.
Help.
Gay Boyfriend asked me this morning who I was talking to last night and I told him it was some new guy and he asked if I'd broken up with 1.0 yet. And I said no. The disdain emanated from him like humidity in July. Smothering. Instantly, my livid-o-meter started going off and I knew the things that were going to come out of my mouth were not going to be pleasant, so I said nothing at all. He's never had a successful long-term relationship. Why would I take advice from him? Followed closely by, "Who are you to judge me?"
Am I wrong here? Do I have to officially break it off with 1.0 in order to meet this new guy? I figure he dug his own grave through bad behavior. Is it up to me to point out to him why I don't care to continue to go out with him? And if you've been reading for any amount of time, you know I absolutely don't know the answer to this one.
Help.
16 comments:
Hell no! You have no commitment to 1.0 at this point. You do what you want!
And how does someone become 1.1? Do they have to improve themselves in some way? Or do they have to break up with you and then get back together? Just wondering...
Unless you two have some kind of committment ... no. maybe gay room mate needs to work on his relationship skills.
Knot
loser 1.0 didn't show you any of the respect that you deserve; so why bother seeking him out!
If he ever shows his face again; simply thank him for greasing your squeaky wheel and wish him the best in mental health.
You have nothing to worry about and owe him nothing!
You definately don't need to "break up" with 1.0. Sounds like that relationship is on a crash and burn trajectory anyway.
I think the joy of internet dating is the freedom to pursue several different relationships simultaneously. Especially if it's just a dinner date.
Come on! A girl's gotta eat.
You absolutely HAVE TO DUMP the jackass.
Have. to.
Not because you're going out with someone else but because he's a jerk and you need to get rid of him for good.
Read the book He's Just Not That Into You. It will make everything clear.
I am not sure what your question really is. If you are asking if you need to have some formal, notice-giving ceremony with 1.0, the answer is that it probably isn't entirely necessary. However, if you are asking whether you can maintain some form of minimal relationship with him while going out with 3.0, the answer is no. One at a time, Kate, one at a time.
I don't want to see 1.0 anymore if that's what you're asking Malaise.
I agree with everyone else. No notice necessary. I hope the date goes well.
I suggest you call up 1.0 on Sunday night, ask what he's doing, invite yourself over for dinner, and then call him when you're officially 30 minutes late and tell him you're not coming over... EVER AGAIN.
In my eyes, unless you and 1.0 professed to be exclusive, the assumption is you're dating other people.
Tell Gay Boyfriend to shut it.
Nilsa is right. Unless you had an agreement to be exclusive, you keep your options open.
Especially as 1.0 seems a bit effed up at present.
no! no no no!! You owe him nothing. you weren't MARRIED for crying out loud. Just dating.
I like GreenCanary's suggestion. :)
Absolutely not. You don't owe him anything unless you agreed you were in an exclusive relationship.
My GBF tries to give me advice too... and has also never had a real BF in the 5 years I've known him... HMM
take it from the woman who was dating someone else when she went on a date with her future hubby, nope, no notice required. unless there was some exclusivity convo taking place you needn't tell him a damn thing.
it's 1.0's loss and 3.0's gain :) hope it goes well!!
Picture yourself saying to 1.0, "I think we're done. It was really...yeah." Dumping him formally could feel really empowering.
I awarded you today over at my blog. Friday love in the house!
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