Resignation on the Bathroom Floor

9:56 AM Edit This 15 Comments »
So, remember when I said that it was a good thing my sister had the pukies when I was visiting her so she didn't drag me all over creation on 10 mile hikes up the mountain and 5 hour yoga workshops? Yeah. Um, that came back to bite me in the ass. I got it.

The world looks quite different from the floor of a bathroom, you know? I mean, you're reduced to a sweaty pile of nothingness. You can't move without feeling nauseous. Just looking at the toilet makes your gag reflex come to attention. So you just lay there. Sometimes with a pillow and a blanket. Sometimes on the cold, smooth floor, just waiting to die. Throwing up makes me feel completely helpless and out of control.

Can you tell I hate it?

The flu is the great equalizer. There's no way out of it once you have it. It runs it's course whether you want it to or not. It will take you down - big or small. Rich or poor. And you can't do anything about it.

15 comments:

[F]oxymoron said...

Hope you feel better... on the bright side, you have an excuse to sleep for hours upon hours!

stoogepie said...

So, you're saying you still won't be doing any mountain hikes or 5-hour yoga sessions?

You are wrong. Rich people do not get the flu. Rich people get something with many of the same symptoms that they call "viral poverty."

The difference is that rich people blow their noses into tissues made of the finest hand-woven Scottish cashmere. Of course, some of the rich are still old school and blow their noses onto laborers they hire for that purpose. And rich people have special toilets for vomiting into. You wouldn't want barf touching your gold-plated Moscow toilet, so most rich people have a Swarovski Studded Toilet just for puke.

Glad we cleared that up.

Feel better. Viral poverty is only bad for the first few days.

buffalodick said...

The funny thing about blowing chunks, is that you feel better afterward... must be a reason..

Kristen said...

That sucks dude.

Get better.

justjp said...

I ma sorry to hear that. Sounds like what happened to me friday sans the flu.

LiLu said...

I feel you. I woke up with that scratchy throat, cough, and runny nose that means good things are NOT coming my way...

Feel better soon, love. On the plus side, all the bad TV you want!

Ben said...

I haven't had a non-alcohol-to-blame throw up since umm...elementary school?

Yet I still managed to pretend that I did to get out of school a lot...

Jamie said...

Oh no. Sorry you're sick. I am terrible at being sick. Last time I had the flu, I called my sister bawling I was so miserable. Hope you feel better soon!

Sweetly Single said...

hope you feel better soon

JoLee said...

Yuck, yuck, yuck... I've actually taken an air mattress in the bathroom so that I could feel like I was dying a little more comfortably. Feel better, love.

Sparkling Red said...

That is so sad. I hope it all passes quickly. :-p

SoMi's Nilsa said...

I just want to know how the heck you are blogging from your bathroom floor. I think you just might be my hero.

carrster said...

oh blech! I hope you're feeling better soon!!

Jen said...

Yikes! Hope you feel better soon.

BrianAlt said...

Awww, feel better. This too shall pass. The good thing is knowing that this kind of thing doesn't last too long. The next we'll be hearing from you will be how you're all better.