Therapy Tuesday
8:37 AM Edit This 21 Comments »
Look at these fabulous earrings that I got from Vanessa. They're made out of spent Starbucks cards. I love the internet. And I love saying the word "spent."
Please ignore my large nose in this picture. What the heck is up with that?
I had to talk about sex in therapy this morning. I hate talking about that. In fact, I can't even look at her when we talk about it. Good thing she has toys for me to play with. Here's what finally made sense to her. When Jason and I were both actively drinking and numbing the world around us, sex was a way to feel something. Anything. It was a tool to connect with reality for a few minutes. Even if it was hurtful or angry or mean. And I don't know how to undo using it as a tool and instead use it to connect with the one I love. And now it's on the table. And it makes me want to throw up.
Please ignore my large nose in this picture. What the heck is up with that?
I had to talk about sex in therapy this morning. I hate talking about that. In fact, I can't even look at her when we talk about it. Good thing she has toys for me to play with. Here's what finally made sense to her. When Jason and I were both actively drinking and numbing the world around us, sex was a way to feel something. Anything. It was a tool to connect with reality for a few minutes. Even if it was hurtful or angry or mean. And I don't know how to undo using it as a tool and instead use it to connect with the one I love. And now it's on the table. And it makes me want to throw up. 
21 comments:
Those earrings are great! Both close up and from a distance!
I like that second pic of you. When you smile really big it always looks like you're about to die laughing. Love it. And the earrings.
At least you're able to begin analyzing it.
Smiling will help. Yes, I know that was a gay statement. I know.
I bet you thought you'd never have to have "The Talk" again, eh?
The earrings are lovely, my dear. Best of luck with the therapy...
Do you agree with the assessment?
Those are awesome earrings!!
As for the therapy path your going down... I feel for you love... but just keep your focus on reaching yet another momnumental goal
I have about 8 empty stbx cards in my wallet. Was going to load them up with 5 bucks and hand them out for a Random Act of Kindness but I may just keep one behind for crafty purposes. Cute!
I hear you. I wish I could un-brainwash myself. I have way too many unhealthy associations with sex, even though I'm in a stable relationship with a man who I love. Undoing that kind of damage is delicate work, and takes courage to attempt.
So, when you say that she has you playing with "toys" during the sex talk, do you mean chotkies or, you know TOYS. Because I think playing with sex toys in front of your therapist would be very cringe inducing.
Or toys like Play Doh and Lincoln Logs? I think if I had to talk to a therapist about sex, I would want to play with Silly Putty... or maybe a Lite Brite.. Yeah, def a Lite Brite.
http://toyconnection.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=WIREP&Category_Code=G&qts=google&qtk=wire%20toy
This toy is my favorite.
they look amazing on you! yay! and thanks for telling everyone about me! i think i would die if i had to talk about sex! thank goodness for toys! thanks again, and, i love your glasses! super cute!
I will second all the comments on your awesome earrings & cute glasses. And I don't think your nose looks large.
Hmmm, well, maybe getting it on the table will eventually get it OFF the table and then you can get past it and move on, right? That's the point, right? At least you have toys to play with...
What is on your screensaver in the backkground, anyway? Dr. Dreamy?
Those earrings are fantastic!
Toys?
You got pretty far in this therapy session. Only the very best sex makes me want to throw up afterward.
Also, sex + tools? Sex + toys? Awesome.
Seriously, the earrings are fab and so are you.
I find that rings and the zipper of your purse are wonderful things to dick around with when you're crawling out of your skin with embarassment.
Cute earrings! : )
And wow, for the breakthrough in therapy! I am seriously considering starting to go and stinking with it this time. I think I need a breakthrough, especially in regards to men and relationships.
I think I have been monogamous too long. I can't even imagine how those wire toys are, umm, utilized.
Cute earrings. I say that because you were talking about serious stuff and I was thinking sex tools! Where do I find those on the internet???
I was paying attention, I swear it. Scuse me, I need to have a little alone time.
What an amazing breakthrough! You're so strong, I'm surprised you didn't karate chop your way through spent Starbucks cards to make your own earrings. ha.
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