It Has Eluded Me

7:06 AM Edit This 19 Comments »
So, when you wake up at four a.m. and can't get back to sleep, what do you do?

1) Lie there, listening to the grandfather clock chime every fifteen minutes.

2) Get frustrated listening to the chimes and waiting for sleep to come.

3) Get up and turn the fucking chimes OFF because it's not helping.

4) Drink some water, go to the bathroom and try to lay down again.

5) Put on some soft music and lie down again.

6) Think about all of my friends with babies whose children wake up screaming and they get to be rocked back to sleep at four in the morning and get jealous. Of the babies. Not the parents.

7) Get up and remake the twisted sheets and blankets back into something sleep-able. Lie down again.

8) Run through a list of great topics for blog posts. Realize this is not helping and start counting sheep. Not really. I say phone numbers over and over in my head. I never said I wasn't neurotic.

9) Get another drink of water.

10) Get up. I mean seriously. It's over.

But that does mean I get to take an extra long shower and shave my legs ALL THE WAY UP. And use all the hot water and make Gay Boyfriend suffer with cold water. Like he does to me every morning. It really is all about me, you know.

19 comments:

BrianAlt said...

Four, seven, nine and ten.

JoLee said...

babes, when you find something that works, PLEASE let me know! I haven't slept through the night in since December. Longest streak yet

buffalodick said...

I have been an insomniac all my adult life- informercials work better than Sominex...

Jen said...

I hate it when I can't sleep. I usually either toss for a while or get up and work some. Hope you can take a nap this afternoon.

justjp said...

Best way to get back to sleep is to "take care of yourself" if you know what I mean. Out like a light after that.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

I usually skip straight to number 10. But, for me, getting up at 4AM isn't all that much earlier than when I normally have to get up during the week. Sigh.

Kristen said...

11. wake up everyone else in the house because it's no fair they get to sleep while you lay there wide awake.

Sweetly Single said...

I vote you schedule a meeting half way through the day with your pillow


And stop thinking so much....your making my head hurt LOL

Summer said...

Okay, come on over. I'll rock you to sleep.

Holly said...

and don't you just love it when you FINALLY become drowsy and drift off only to see that it's time to get up?!

Jamie said...

There are few things I loathe more than waking up when I want to be sleeping. Restless, lying there and cursing yourself for not falling back asleep. That's usually what I do. Occasionally I whine or cry. :)

Sparkling Red said...

What works for me: I pretend the alarm clock just went off, and suddenly there's nothing I want to do more than drift back to sleep...

f.B said...

10. it's always 10.

O'Mama said...

I usually just lie there and flop like a fish, but sometimes I will get up and read somewhere and then try to go back to bed. I TRY not to ever look at the clock. If all else fails, I get up. And swear a lot.

Dingo said...

I catch up on commenting and reading blogs. Like now.

Maxie said...

Read blogs. Best way to pass time EVER.

Meigan said...

Very funny - especially number six. I play computer games if I can't sleep. Always works.

Twinkie said...

I love the servicing yourself suggestion. heeeeee....

Personally? I find some skinamax to watch on the tele. But that's just me. hahahhaa

lacochran said...

Please forward great list of blog topics.

Thank you.

That is all.