Starting Somewhere and Nowhere at the Same Time

5:45 PM Edit This 15 Comments »
I finished it.

Oh? You didn't know about it? Yeah. That's because I don't talk about it.

I finished my application for a PhD program in Counseling. I've been working on it for ages, because I just wasn't sure. But today, I got it all back out, called them again to see if there were still openings (there aren't, but I'm always welcome to apply ahead of time for next year, blah blah blah), and I finished it.

I quit my Master's degree just short of my internship back in 2002. Because frankly? I went insane. And who wants an insane therapist? No one. That's who. But I finished all the coursework and wrote my thesis. "The Effects of Pornography On the Sexual Behavior of Teenagers. " Yeah, don't ever google teenagers and pornography. Please, for the love of God. I couldn't get that shit off my computer for almost a year.

You only have five years to finish your master's degree before they make you start over. Seriously. It's a law or something. And I get it. There's WAY more information out there today than there was back in 2001 and I kind of like being on the cutting edge of stuff like that anyway, so I understand that. But in order for me to make use of what I've already learned, getting my PhD is the most reasonable course of action. I get more credits applied than if I were to just go back to a master's and have to re-take all those boring classes like Educational Research. But in pursuing a PhD, I get to take all the fascinating classes like Psychological Criminology and get to skip the boring ones.

I went and interviewed on campus about a year and a half ago, but I still wasn't ready. I wasn't solid in my recovery, I still had major meltdowns on a regular basis and wasn't sure I could do work full time, school full time AND keep going to meetings which I desperately needed.

So, it's done. I have no idea if I'm going to send it in or not. But one hurdle is overcome. I know if I hang onto it long enough, I'll have to completely rework most of what I wrote, but that's okay with me. I had to start somewhere. Just like with everything in my life.

15 comments:

Cello Mama said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is a big accomplishment - and I have a feeling you just might send this in...

rudecactus said...

Awesome. And send it in. What's the worst that could happen?

BrianAlt said...

Wow! That's terrific. Keep us informed this time. Please?

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Don't most therapists have to go through their own therapy? If that's the case, you're well on your way! Wait, do you even want to be a therapist? Or would the PhD allow you to go into teaching at the university level instead?

Sweetly Single said...

woooohoooooo

I know you can go the next step...you can do it in your own time....but I have faith that you will do it!!

carrster said...

that's huge, Kate! Way to go! I agree with Rude Cactus - send it in...what's the worse that could happen? Whohoo!

Summer said...

Yah! Congratulations.

Oh, and I died laughing about the teenagers and porn. I can only imagine.

Kristen said...

Good luck honey! Grad school is a piece of shit, but it's worth it in the end!!!

buffalodick said...

Good attitude! I hate doing anything twice...

t2ed said...

Congrats! The app is often worse than the entire program.

Though I have an acquaintance who claims that after 3 more therapy sessions, he'll have enough to actually become a therapist.

saratogajean said...

Internet high five!

Way to go!

Daisee579 said...

Congrats!! just completing the packet gives you options. Sending it in will give you even more :) Good luck with whatever path you choose!

Lindsey said...

Awesome! Congrats on the next step.

Dingo said...

Good for you for pressing on! Send it in? Why not? I just have a question about how you jump ahead to a PhD without getting your Masters. Is it a combined Masters/PhD program?

[F]oxymoron said...

Congrats! I think this is a wonderful idea.