It Has Cometh

7:37 AM Edit This 15 Comments »
A pox on the swine flu. The Monkey Plague has cometh to pay me a visit. It is the bane of my existence. I keep antibiotics stashed away for this recurring nightmare. I have to say, Gay Boyfriend is kind of a hoover-er when I get sick. It's not entirely bad. He brings me water and ibuprofen, he thinks nothing of a midnight visit to the drug store for more cough syrup, he has been known on occasion to mightily scrub his cast iron tub for me to soak in a hot bath, and he's not above holding my hair when I'm puking. He is - in all regards - a trooper when it comes to me being ill. It is very endearing.

But when I'm not feeling well, the thing I want the most in the whole wide world is for someone to rub my back while I'm going to sleep. And well, he's not into that. He'll rub my FEET any day of the week, but rubbing my back is just a little too intimate for him. And I get it. I totally get it. The man has been known to sew me into my summer dresses sans brassiere because he thinks it looks better, but he draws the line at even thinking about the possibility of touching my breasts. Poor thing. I don't think he remembers they are on the other side of my body when I'm lying face down.

He wins the Gay Boyfriend of the Year award for bringing me hot tea this morning, though. Yes. He definitely wins.

15 comments:

Lemmonex said...

Wow, I actually think foot rubs are way more intimate...but what do I know.

MilesPerHour said...

Sounds like a great person.

BrianAlt said...

Lemmonex, think Pulp Fiction!

What about the other boyfriend?

Summer said...

He is so awesome. If we could just clone him or something... women around the world would be so happy and well taken care of.

carrster said...

Wow, that is pretty awesome. I don't think I could even get Steve to go to the store for me late at night if I was sick. Hmph. Sounds like he's a keeper... :)

BrianAlt said...

Oh, and I forgot to say...

Get well soon!

Mr. POSSLQ said...

Hoping you kick the sickness soon, and that it's truly not the Icky Yucky Stinky Piggy Oh My God We're All Gonna Die Panic Now Flu.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

I'd have to agree wih Summer. When I'm sick, I have to handle myself.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

I hope you feel better soon. And I hope you realize how lucky you are to have such a good friend.

squeaksdaddy said...

Good for you, friends like him are one in a million...I think my wife may need a gay boyfriend.

JJ

Jen said...

I want a gay boyfriend!!!!
I hope you feel better soon, but if not, at least you're well taken care of.

Cello Mama said...

Hope you feel better soon, Kate! I'm so glad to hear you have someone taking good care of you. I had bad mono in college and my lame-ass boyfriend totally bailed on me. The only thing worse than a bad illness is going it alone.

And it's so hard to send chicken soup over the computer.

Get lots of sleep and get better!

Sparkling Red said...

You can tell Gay Boyfriend that he gets the Awesomest BFF Award of the month from me. What a sweetheart!

Anyway, if I were there, if he'd just do everything else, I'd rub your back. Backrubs are nice, and not threatening in my opinion.

LiLu said...

You have a permanent foot rubber??? I might be willing to trade B in...

melissalion said...

He's a good one. Tell him I have a spare room here in lovely Portland, OR.