New Life

Okay boys and squirrels. New shoes, compliments of vacation. There's this crazy days sale every year and even though there's throngs (that word suddenly looks dirty) of people milling around and shoving each other to grab at shoe boxes and elbow their way to the front, which behavior normally causes red panic in my soul, I go. Plus, I have big feets. So there's usually not as many people in my size section. So here you go. Birks and Borns. Yippee for me!

So. The whole job thing is finally settled. I've moved into my new and solo routine. So far, the good doctor has not yelled at me. So far, I haven't royally fucked anything up. The last thing I was waiting on was my review and raise. It's been almost a month since I've been alone and I was promised that any raise would be retroactive, but whereas I am normally patient, I was getting a little antsy. I had no idea how much to expect. The difference between a twenty cent and a two dollar raise kind of dictates how long I plan to stay there and how aggressively I will search for something new. Well. I kind of got way more than I expected. Plus a brand new title that positions me for something even better down the road. And when my boss left, I immediately called Tom because I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both with him on the phone. Because he told me how proud he was of me and mentioned that in recovery, we just do the next right thing. Over and over and over and over. Every single day. And then things start happening. One at a time or all at once and if we stay the course, we do indeed, earn some things back. Like respect and validation in the work place.

Do you know how long it's been since someone told me they were proud of me? I mean, I'm kind of in a place where I don't need a ton of external validation, but wow! Those words. They were exactly what I wanted to hear. And THAT? That's when I started crying. Because it felt so good.