Camping Kate

4:49 PM Edit This 17 Comments »
I did it! I went camping all by myself! And it was awesome. Here I am in three of four layers. That's my cabin. I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE CAMPGROUND! Which was kinda creepy, kinda cool. I have to say, I had a hard time settling down on Friday night. I was up and down and in and out of the cabin, unable to just RELAX ALREADY. But it came. Finally. It was rainy the first night, so I was alternately stoking the fire for my hot dogs later and reading on the porch under the light. It gave me something to do while I was calming the crazy.
I suck at starting fires. Plus, there was no dry kindling around. I had these really sticky (i.e. OLD) firestarters that took a long time to light. I was getting kind of desperate at one point, but I kept at it and here it is.
Cozy cabin bed. And yes, I DO sleep with a stuffed dog. Don't judge me. And that's an extra long, extra wide sleeping bag that I inherited from my parents. It's the only way to go. Seriously.
I was not altogether surprised at how much stuff I brought for just one weekend, but since there was to be rain alternating with sunshine, I had to be prepared. Plus all the books, knitting and other sources of entertainment...
I tuckered out about nine on Friday night. When it's dark out and there's no one to sit by the fire with you, it gets kind of boring. I wanted to read. But I got up bright and early Saturday morning to look for leaves.
And I swang the swings of a thousand kindergartners. It was exhilarating.
I spent most of the morning, reading by the fire. I had a hard time starting it again, so I was determined not to let it go out. And when you're camping on your own, you get to do whatever you want, right? So I ate peanuts for breakfast and had chips and a banana for lunch, then Miss M stopped by for an afternoon chat, during which time we went for a short hike and drank a tank of coffee. Weird as it was, I was glad she was leaving and not spending the night. It had something to do with conquering this weekend alone. I wanted to know that I could do it. And be content. And when I saw the beginnings of this sunset, I knew it had been worth it.
There is a subtle difference between being lonely and being alone. I am a loner by nature, but I remember times when being alone meant rejection and a deep, dark loneliness. I still have times like that today, but they don't last as long. I like being alone. I am comfortable in my own skin in a way that I never thought was possible. I enjoy my own company, because frankly? I'm a pretty awesome person. I have a creative mind that likes to be fed and I cherish the way my thoughts tumble over one another. I laugh to myself when something's funny and I'm not afraid to shed a tear over beauty. I told Miss M earlier that afternoon that I have a beautiful life. I have everything I need. There will always be wants, and some of those are being fulfilled, but there is nothing glaring that stares me in the face mocking me as a failure anymore.
It was glorious. And peaceful. When I got up on Sunday morning, I sat and watched the birds swoop over the water while I drank my coffee. I talked to my Creator and felt something inside of me calm. Whatever it is, I want to hang onto it. Then I had to go home because seriously. Two and a half days without a shower around a campfire? I stank. Like, bad.

17 comments:

[F]oxymoron said...

Congrats! That's awesome...

... and yes, there is a major difference between being lonely and being alone! You got all Thoreau on the world! ha.

justme said...

this is SO awesome...i can't even tell you. what an accomplishment and what a great lesson in how things should be done!

Jules said...

I'm glad you had such a good time camping! The sunset looks lovely and you had a cute little cabin - good for you!

MsDarkstar said...

Glad you had a good time!

I have LOTS of stuffed animals and I'm allegedly "mature"...

Lady Baillio said...

What an awesome way to celebrate your life and living! Love all the pictures!

Daisee579 said...

Wow! Congrats on the accomplishment. I'm a little jealous - not only would I have not thought of such a neat weekend, but I'm not sure I would have the courage to do it. Kudos to you!! And I'm glad you had a great time :)

buffalodick said...

We have a place up North on 160 acres, and except for hunting season, it is super quiet..I can take a week-end of it, but not a week!

carrster said...

Yay...sounds like you had a more-than-spectacular time. I'm glad you got to get away and "fill up your bucket." It's such an important thing to do. :)

f.B said...

I think I would actually love to go camping alone.

But "There will always be wants, and some of those are being fulfilled, but there is nothing glaring that stares me in the face mocking me as a failure anymore" sounds like a really, really great place to be.

Kristen said...

That looks wonderful! Of course, I don't think I could do it. My husband and kids leave for an hour and come back to find me in the corner, curled into the fetal position and shouting "where have you been? I thought you'd left me forever!"

Well, maybe it's not that bad, but it ALMOST is.

melissalion said...

Oh that sounds like paradise. And you are an awesome person! Awesome people camp by themselves. Or see movies alone -- that's my favorite thing.

Summer said...

I watch WAY too much Cold Case to ever camp by myself, but it looks like a wonderful soul rejuvenation.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

I'm in love with the wood on the inside of that cabin. One day, I will have a front porch ceiling with wood like that ... and maybe a few rooms in a house, too!

Meigan said...

Oh Kate, that sounds just wonderful! Being alone camping sounds so great - I would love to do it. But even more I'd love to have a girls camping trip one of these years....

Jennifer said...

Inspiring...adventure...longing...lovely...Wow! Thank you for sharing this experience.

Allie said...

I am so impressed! You rock!

TMC said...

Absolutely awesome adventure!