Six Months and Counting

8:40 AM Edit This 14 Comments »
On Friday, I went to my bi-annual meeting with the Crazy Doctor. I only have to go twice a year now that I'm considered "stable." mwhahaha! Stable. That word makes me laugh every time he says it.The medicine I take for The Crazy is 1/4 the amount of what I was taking when I first got sober. Which is a very, very good thing. I don't like that I take it, but whatever. You do what you have to do. Right? And it's been a long, long haul finding what works. We haven't messed with it much except to decrease it over the last three years and then the sudden hiccup when we went to a "new" formula from the same company.

I love my psychiatrist. He understands me. He knows that I'm smart, that I'm savvy and that I am not one to fuck around. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to go whole hog. (Which is what made me so dangerous as a Crazy Person for so long and he knew it.) He also knows that my sister is a pharmacist and that if he gives me something new, I'm most certainly going to check it out with her before I try it.

Suffice it to say that I take a fairly popular extended release antidepressant. I've tried them all. (Except for Prozac. Weird. No one ever put me on that one.) So last spring/summer when I visited with him, we talked about the fact that this particular medicine can cause high blood pressure and that mine had steadily gone up for several years now and that my regular doctor had prescribed high blood pressure medicine in consultation with him. Okay. Whatever. Well. The drug company had recently come out with a new formula of this drug that was considered "cleaner." As in - it might not cause the side effect of high blood pressure. I trust the guy. So I told him sure.

And then I called my sister. Hahaha! I thought she was going to blow a gasket. Turns out that the patent on the drug had recently run out and that a generic was soon going to be available. So what does a drug company do when that happens? They make something NEW that does the same thing so they can continue to corner the market on their formula. Nice. But I tried it anyway and within four days, I was a complete wreck. Cleaner, my ass. Maybe it's the "filler" that really works for me in the original drug. Who knows. So right back to where I started, only a $59 co-pay out the window for that mistake. We've made more expensive ones, the Crazy Doctor and I.

So as we're visiting last week, I ask if the generic is available yet, because it means the difference between a $45 co-pay and an $11 one. And he says, "No. But haven't we ever tried the regular generic - not the extended release?" As I respond no, he reaches for his prescription pad, and I shriek, "Noooo! I don't want it. I'll wait!" And the medical student who is observing shrinks into his chair. I am a force to be reckoned with. Why all the frightening people all of a sudden, I wonder? Sigh. Anyway. The Crazy Doctor responds, "What? Everything's going fine! Don't you want some chaos?" And I say, "You've got to be shitting me, you freak."

I am an irreverent patient. I always will be. So he laughs and says, "Fine. We'll leave things as they are." We shake hands, the medical student looks at me and I say, "He'll tell you after I'm gone how messed up I used to be." And shake his hand too. There you have it. Six months from now, I'll let you know if we start some chaos.


Summer said...

I love that you called him a freak. I'm a horrible patient too. I know enough to know what works for me.

BrianAlt said...

I'm sure you will!

restaurant refugee said...

Firstly and most importantly, I am glad that the failed experiment with the "new" drug is over and that you're getting back to established baseline of crazy. You'll have to forgive me when I read this and get all kinds of stabby angry at our craptastic health care system.

Big Pharma, the only thing that sucks harder than your naked avarice, is the cabal of lawyers and lobbyists you employ to enable it.

melissalion said...

No chaos. It's never good. Unless it's something you've planned for, like home remodeling or breaking up with someone you should have broken up with years ago. Then the chaos is okay.

buffalodick said...

When they talk with you instead of at you, it's a good thing..

GreenCanary said...

Interesting... I've been noticing that my blood pressure has been increasing incrementally, too. And also my cholesterol. Both are side effects my anti-depressant. And let me tell you something: when you're a person that tends to balance the line between depression and anxiety, the last thing you need is high blood pressure. I'm an explosion just waiting to happen. Step back, folks, lest the effluvia of my arteries sully your pretty clean clothes.

MsDarkstar said...

Y'all don't want the Prozac anyhow. It is not the Happy.

Sparkling Red said...

It's amazing how big an impact those tiny little pills can have. I've always been afraid of their power, so that even when I was at my worst I never filled the prescription my g.p. gave me. I figured as long as I wasn't actually cutting myself on a regular basis I was probably better off without pharmaceutical help. I was very lucky to have a choice in the matter.

Josephine said...

You're cool.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

I remember reading your Tuesday posts and how hard Tuesdays always were for you. It's really amazing to see you not only come this far, but succeed at what you've done with yourself, with your life. Awesome!

justme said...

awesome....just awesome. great post

Rebecca said...

Once, a relative was in the psych ward and I wanted to visit the relative. Or the relative wanted to see me.....probably both.

Anyway, I had a job as a manager at a fast food joint and I just wore my uniform sans hat to visit. (I figured that I'd squeeze in more time if I showed up dressed for work)

So, on my way out (stayed about 10 minutes longer than I had planned), I was sort of walking at a fast pace (which could be normal pace for anyone else cause I'm kinda slow) and headed toward the exit. I sort of followed a couple of nurses out the 'locked' doors instead of asking to get buzzed out.

So, someone sees this and starts yelling Rachel Get Back Here!. I'm not Rachel so I keep walking. Someone comes up from behind me and grabs my wrist and says "Come back here Rachel"

I sort of looked and said "Uhh, I'm not Rachel"

I guess they get that kind of stuff a lot because she demanded to look at my wristband.

I was not the patient so there was NO wristband

She was convienced that I must have removed it so she has to bring me into a room where I have to wait for a team of people to come in and they all have to agree that I am not Rachel.

Of course the patient that I was related to saw the whole thing and other family members who were there visiting the patient.

I still get called Rachel when I do something dumb.

Allie said...

Hey, if it's ain't broke! :)

I just read an article the other day about how there may be more differences between generics and name brand meds than we think - and not always meaning that name brands are better. And I do think certain things just work differently for different people.

The Good Cook said...

A year or so ago my cardiologist told me I was getting fat and i told him "yeah, well you're ugly".. I thought his nurse was going to pass out on the spot. I've since lost weight but he's still not so hot.

Just sayin.. ;-)