Things That Don't Make Your Skin Fall Off

8:37 AM Edit This 24 Comments »
Well, boys and squirrels. The cold and snow that I love so much? It makes my skin break and peel and itch and sometimes it gets rough and patchy. Sexy, no? I work in the medical field, so they want me to put this crap on my hands all the time. And I hate it. So the alternative is to wash, wash, wash them with soap and hot water instead. About fifty millionty times a day.And I found out that this lotion makes my hands not peel in protest. I use the one in the middle. And then I discovered that if I slather it all over my body? It feels better. So I do it in the morning after I get out of the shower. I put it on my hands all day long. And then before I go to bed, I put it all over my body again. We're having slight success. I only wish it came in a spray on - like self-tanner. Because who can reach that tiny, part between their shoulder blades without all kinds of bathroom gymnastics? No one. That's who.My lips crack and peel too. Wanna make out? So I use this on them 24 hours a day. The problem is, it makes everything taste minty. Awesome for when you're drinking coffee. It's like a mint mocha without the price tag. Not so awesome when you're eating pizza.


But the end all-be all of winter care comes in the form of this stuff. It looks and feels like lard. Do you think the pioneers used lard in the wintertime? I was thinking of that this morning while I was in the shower. Because I'm sure they didn't bathe all that much in the winter either. Maybe that's the key. I should stop showering? And smear lard all over my body? Now THAT is going to bring the men to me.

And that's the end of my product review. I'm sure that my endorsement of such products on my blog is going to bring me fame and fortune. No? Well. Give me some suggestions, please. What else doesn't make your skin fall off?

24 comments:

buffalodick said...

Dry skin in cold weather is a given with me....Hate lotions

BrianAlt said...

Lovely pictures you've painted in my mind.

I hope you are enjoying your creamy self.

I have found that making out helps chapped lips. And I'm serious. And relax Canary, I wasn't hitting on her.

Much.

Jen said...

I'm in search for a better lotion, especially for my hands, the poor things. For my lips, which are currently very chapped, I use Kiehl's lip balm, but you need to stick your finger in the tube to get it out and apply it and I don't quite like that bit.

Sarita said...

Relia LOVES the smell of "my lips" as she calls the stick of Burt's Bees my mom has designated as Relia's. But she doesn't put it on her lips, she rubs it under her nose for hours at a time.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

I've been wondering about Gold Bond. Might need to check it out. We use Eucerin in our house, but it's a little too greasy for me. However, since Burts Bees does nothing for my lips, I either use Karite (which has a ton of shea butter in it) or Aquaphor (also made by Eucerin) for my lips. Works like a charm!

Cello Mama said...

I love Caress body wash with one of those net loofah things in the shower. For lotion, I keep it simple - I'm a Cetaphil girl. I use the lotion everywhere and for extreme dryness (and the girls' faces) I use the big tub of cream. That stuff is awesome, but if I rub it on my body I feel too sticky.

It's light but soaks in really well and has done wonders for winter dry skin.

That, plus a furnace humidier plus cool mist humidifiers in every bedroom.

Cello Mama said...

OOoh! I'm a Burt's Bees fan, too, and am with you on the mint thing. Wish they made at least one unflavored.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Okay.

Slathering lotion all over your body...you had me there.

Smearing lard all over your body...ummm...not so much.

Ahem...anyway, Aquaphor works great for dry, cracked hands and lips. Probably good for other body parts too, but a little greasy to smear all over.

Beyond that, I can't help you.

melissalion said...

Can I just take your suggestions, because my lips feel like they're going to fall off.

I also use Body Butter. Body Butter. By Pacifica. I use Tibetan Mountain Temple.

Because I care about THE WORLD.

The Good Cook said...

I'm going to go buy some Gold Bond because my "regular" lotion just isn't doing the job in this cold weather. I'm sure extremely hot shower water isn't helping but it's the only way to stay warm on these freezing mornings! Thanks for the moisturizing tips.

Holly said...

HEY!!! No dissing my paycheck provider :)

Just kidding. Big Burts Bee's fan for lips and we're Aveeno Daily users here since Pete is anti-grease.

It's a tough time of year. It's a bad sign when even someone like me (I hardly ever need the stuff) has to resort to using lotion on a daily basis.

rudecactus said...

The Eucerin? All over me and my kids. That stuff is great. I can't imagine being where you are right now. Haven't the temps been about a billion below zero?

GreenCanary said...

*glaring at BrianAlt*

If I slathered myself in lard, I imagine I'd smell like bacon and smelling like bacon is a good thing. Nothing is sexier than bacon.

Kristen said...

Aquaphor is awesome for hands and lips and any other awfulness, but it doesn't work for your whole body--it's too thick.

Coco butter always works for me as an all over moisturizer, plus you get to smell like chocolate all day. Who doesn't like that?

The best lip stuff I've tried lately is Ms. Darkstar's lip balm. It takes chapped lips away immediately.

Rebecca said...

Love love love the Burts Bees stuff. The beeswax lipbalm.....

Also, the Lemon? Cuticle Cream. Best stuff ever!

LiLu said...

Consider "boys and squirrels" stolen as of this very moment.

xo

The Pollinatrix said...

Well, the lard-smearing plan probably won't draw men, but maybe a few bears, if you're lucky.

Kate said...

Sarita? I do that with Vicks. Hehe. I TOLD you Relia was a girl after my own heart!

And aquaphor seems to be a theme. Hm...

CatKrny said...

You can help your hands (or feet) by covering them with vaseline and covering the goo with cotton gloves (or socks) while you sleep at night.

justsomethoughts... said...

there's a cream called "hoof to nails"
gross, icky, and it works
i couldnt continue because of the aforementioned grossand icky
now i wear bandaids where my fingers have revolted and split
not as fun as it sounds

and some men will in fact be attracted to the lard you spoke of
dont say i didnt warn you...

MsDarkstar said...

Allrighty then... time for me to finish up The Big Project and get some lip balm in the mail for K8.

Meg Kathleen said...

I wouldn't be able to survive winter without my Eucerin.

BrianAlt said...

What's wrong Ms. Canary? Do you have chapped lips too?

TMC said...

Try Curel. I use it whenever I have new tattoo work done. It does a wonderful job of healing your skin.