AAAAND It's Getting Worse

8:33 AM Edit This 19 Comments »
Holy. It's been a long time since I got in a funk I couldn't get out of. I KNOW that it's the weather and the lack of sunlight and I live in a place that has winter like six months out of every year, but it's bad, you guys. Like really bad. As in, when I was scraping the ice off my windshield this morning, I started crying. Literally crying. Because of the ice. And because my legs felt like leaden weights. They just didn't want to pick up and go.

But pick up and go they did. Because I have to. I refuse to let winter beat me. But it's getting harder and harder every day. I couldn't even force myself to make my lunch this morning. And guess what's for lunch at the cafeteria? Scalloped potatoes and ham (gag) and Kyoto Vegetables. What? No.

And when I went down there this morning to get my water, a nice lady held the door for me and smiled and I tried to smile back and I just got all teary-eyed all over again, so I mumbled thank you, put my head down and kept on walking. Then one of the ladies in the cafeteria was whistling and I wanted to punch her in the neck. What?

What am I going to do, Internet? There's nothing inherently wrong. Seriously. I love my friends and I have a new part time job that I love and I'm going to meetings and I'm still seeing Carolyn and what? What more do I have to do to get out of this? I need some help. Geez.

19 comments:

carrster said...

Doritos & guilty pleasure television.

Getting real letters in the mail (hmmmm....).

Knowing that winter is finite...even when it doesn't feel like it.

Doing something creative. Doodling, drawing, singing, dancing - whatever.

Cooking (I know you're good at this one!)

Keep doing the things that give you pleasure. Kick winter's ass by having fun doing things inside. Ignore it. She hates it when you ignore her.

MWAH

The Pollinatrix said...

I woke up crying this morning, and since my kids' schools had a two-hour delay, I just lied there and indulged it.

Then I got up and started reading blogs and there was a very sad one about someone having to put down their cat they've had for years.

I've realized that it's better for me not to fight it when I feel this way. To just be where I am and have compassion for myself. Do whatever I can to give comfort to myself, as I would a friend i the same state of mind. And know that it will pass. Eventually.

BrianAlt said...

You should be proud of yourself for pushing through it. Congratulations!

Holly said...

Having nearly cried when attempting to do a standing pose in yoga last week and feeling f'ing pain in my hip, I understand the emotions on the sleeve issue. Jesus, it's yoga for heavens sake. Yet...

I have been dosing myself heavily with Vitamin D in an attempt to keep the manic at bay. Helping some but not as much as I want.

Can you take a trip somewhere? Get on a plane and get the hell out of SoDak? Somewhere warm?

Dingo said...

I sooo get it. Unfortunately, I don't have the answer for it.

melissalion said...

Have I already mentioned the solar therapy rooms? We have them in Portland. They are rooms with a ton of lights in them and they're all warm. We have them in our gyms. It's like a tanning bed, but it's a room. No claustrophobia. Call a few gyms around town and find out if they have a solar therapy room.

Otherwise, why don't we just meet up in LA?

artemisia said...

Oh, I wish I could help.

Bake some cookies and give them to someone else you know is having a hard time. It might help.

At least it will make the house smell super yummy and cozy. Think of it as the best part of winter.

GreenCanary said...

when you figure it out, please share the answer with me. I almost drop-kicked a coworker for putting the empty half-and-half back in the fridge. And then I almost cried because there was no half-and-half.

LiLu said...

I am no help. I quit on today and haven't left bed.

Sometimes, I think that's ok.

Allie said...

Oh! Few things will frustrate me more than scraping ice off my car. I don't know what it is! It's just one of those things that prompts tears = like a computer crash, no hot water in the shower, or breaking a glass. So annoying! And I feel you. I am SO tired of winter! And we don't even have it as cold here as you do there.

Ink Spiller said...

Awww! I grew up way up in Scandinavia before I migrated south so I can relate.

So I bring you the first flower of spring today, you know the one that makes you feel so good because it's a sign the dark nasty winter is finally coming to an end.

Some sunshine is in the mail. Be careful when you open the parcel though because it's Aussie sunshine and with the whole in the ozone layer down here and all it tends to be a bit bright. Oh yeah, there's a box of tissues in there too.

Meg Kathleen said...

Have you tried one of those light thingies? The ones that are supposed to cheer you up in the middle of winter? My mom started using one and she says it really helps her with the winter doldrums....sorry, that's all I've got. My solution is a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a stupid movie.

justme said...

i know, i was going to suggest the light things too. There is this place here, and it is a chain....although, not sure if there is one where you live and somehow, i would doubt it. it's called Planet Beach. It is a tanning place, but they have a LOT more there too. One of the things is a light therapy session. it's non-damaging to the skin, etc. but good for your soul....

Rebecca said...

Seriously! You can NOT let winter win. Remember, go back and read your posts! You win against winter. You are stronger than winter!!!! Just reading your battles *and winning* against winter makes me feel stronger and more prepared to face winter.

Do you have an extra $30??? I know this particular MONTH that $30 won't get you far but find that money I suggested and go straight to the florist...is there a Flowerama nearby, they are normally kinda cheap.......and buy yourself a little bit of spring on me....except I have no money and can't buy you spring.....but sign my name to the card like I bought you the flowers.......you deserve them

buffalodick said...

This winter got to me like no other, so I understand.. start with small pleasures like food..watch an old movie you love..sit on the damn register til your butt is really warm..snuggle up in blankets, and sleep without dreams..

Jennifer said...

I called a friend and cried from my GUT today. My front porch has been covered in snow for a week now. We NEVER have snow this long, never.

Winter is kicking my buttocks for sure.

Like you, I keep myself engaged but it is not easy right now.

Are you able to do any physical activity?

I'm hoping for you.

Suburban Sweetheart said...

Hang in there. Just hang in there. I wish I had better advice, but that's all I've got... <3

Stapeliad said...

HUGS!!

Keep hydrated, take your fish oil. Get a sun lamp.

this too shall pass. Hang in there!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Vitamin D? Something a little stronger? Cupcakes? More frequent visits with Carolyn? Hope you figure something out to get out this funk. Thinking of you...