It's Bad, You Guys.

8:29 AM Edit This 18 Comments »
Last night, I felt old. As in old and tired. And old and fat. And old and grumpy. And I haven't shaken it yet. It might have to do with the fact that Gay Boyfriend sets his alarm for 5 a.m. and then doesn't wake up for the 45 minutes that it blares until it shuts itself off. So I didn't get any decent sleep.

I don't know how you guys with kids do it. I really don't. I mean, yesterday I had Carolyn at 7 a.m. Then I went to the job that sucks the life out of me because the Good Doctor is in India for six weeks doing mission work and the phone rang ONCE and just one fax came through and it wasn't even for the right office. In other words, I have nothing to do but practice algebra in preparation for the GRE for eight and a half hours. Then I went to my new part time job, which doesn't suck the life out of me, but gives me a little bit of it back until 8 p.m. Then I came home and made my breakfast and lunch to take to work today, packaged it up, called to sing Happy Birthday to my Grandma and then put on Jillian Michaels. And let me tell you. When she laid down on the floor to do ab work? I just laid there. And watched the rest of the DVD from the floor and felt like crying.

I was too tired to do 30 minutes of exercise. And that felt like an utter failure. I am determined to start running this Spring and I can't even finish Level 1 of Jillian Michaels. And I don't even use weights yet! I realize that the 10 minutes I did was worth something, but I'm so tired. So very tired.

18 comments:

BrianAlt said...

Eh, just a bad day. You're allowed to have 'em.

And I'm older.

And Happy Birthday Grandma! And she's older too!

justme said...

yes, we all have them...brush it off, and know that i'm right there with you tonight. my legs are so tired i can't lift them off the ground.

so what if you couldn't do the video...you will.

The Pollinatrix said...

I hear you. This seems to be a common complaint going around the blogosphere lately. It's that point in winter when everyone's just burned out. I was in a pretty bad slump myself recently.

What if you just did a few yoga exercises that are focused on raising your energy level, and work yourself up from there? I just started doing my second chakra exercises, and after two days of doing twenty minutes worth of basically non-taxing exercise, I feel amazingly better.

Bob said...

Hey - it's the SAD getting to you. Try to not let it assume end-of-the-world proportions. Shake it off and try again. You'll get there.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Do you read the blog, Hotch Potchery (http://hotchpotchery.blogspot.com/)? She journals a lot about her weight loss, which involved a couch to 5K running program (last year?) and she has now worked her way up to training for a half marathon. She's taking a blog break this month, but maybe some of her archives might serve as inspiration to you. You will run this spring, despite feeling like you're in a rut right now.

Malaise Inc said...

There is a club for people like you. It is called "Everybody."

melissalion said...

Oh I want to do some Jillian Michaels. I don't even know who she is, but I want that exercise. And then to feel bad about myself because I'd do what you did. Except I'd wash it all back with some cookies.

carrster said...

I think it's winter. Blech. I'm feeling it too...winter + darkness (which at least is getting better) + crappy sleep + working a soul-sucking job = apathy! Spring is right around the corner, or so I hear. Eh, so you laid on the floor during the workout video. At least you put it IN!!

What's your new part-time job???

Holly said...

I'm with the rest of the crew - it's the winter blahs. I was in bed by 8pm last night, FYI. Which helped b/c Claire was up for part of the night, but my point is we all do it sometimes.

And February is always when my SAD is at it's worst. I come home from the soul-sucking job and want nothing to do with going outdoors, playing anyting fun with Claire or anything. I just want to curl up in a chair and read. By myself.

We'll feel more motivated when we can see the grass and smell the earth.

hang in there!!

Ink Spiller said...

I was going to come up with something cheerful and witty to say but then I realize that your post is too close to how I feel and then I felt all angry about the world and how the system keeps us on the hamster wheel and how we all deserve to be happy and do what we want and not slave away so "the man" can make all that money and then the dog came and stuck its tongue in my ear like "hey, snap out of it" and I realized I have to get my daughter ready for school and get to work on my bike so I can get my exercise and earn money and I'm exhausted already and it's only 6.30 in the morning and thank god for coffee...
How are you anyway? Hopefully not so tired still!

buffalodick said...

Whenever I get the urge to exercise, I lay down until it passes...

Summer said...

I'm sorry. I agree with the others. The weather is sucking the life out of me. Everything's yucky and cold and muddy. I've been pissing for two days straight. I hope you get some good sleep tonight and then wake up feeling like your 20 again.

Rebecca said...

I have a very strict rule in this house about getting out of bed. . .Nobody can get out of bed until the clock says 7:00 or after. . .My son will play in his room until I get him (I pray to God daily that it continues until kindergarten). My daughter will waltz into my room and sing good morning ...her cheery spirit helps........then she sometimes crawls into bed with me and snoozes for a bit. . .I thank God for every second past 7 we get to stay in bed. . .

Sparkling Red said...

As I keep reminding myself: only a few more weeks until spring. Thank goodness.

CatKrny said...

Maybe you should have cooked something instead. More exciting and easier to share.

Happy B-Day to your grandma. Does she still live in her house on the Northwestish side? She and I used to have the same doctor, but said doctor retired.

Cello Mama said...

Jillian Michaels is really F-ing hard, btw. I've been working out a lot for months, and the first day I did level 1 last month(I'm assuming you're talking about her 30-day shred) I thought I was going to die. Don't be too hard on yourself - it is really tough.

I did it every day for 10 days and by the 10th day I could nearly do the whole thing. Keep doing it and you'll be amazed how much better you feel!

Meg Kathleen said...

Dude, I started doing a Jillian Michaels DVD too! The Shred one. And I haven't gotten beyond the Part 1 either. It KILLS me. I could barely walk yesterday thanks to the stupid abs. But you have to start somewhere right?

Suburban Sweetheart said...

At least you've started. I... haven't done shit.