Miniature Bathroom

8:33 AM Edit This 13 Comments »
Most of you know I live in Tiny Apartment. And in Tiny Apartment is Minature Bathroom. Now, I have reconciled to myself that Tiny Apartment is cozy and warm and ALL MINE, so that I mostly forget that It's really the size of a large prison cell. But there is no reconciling Miniature Bathroom. There just isn't. I'm not even going to show you pictures because it's that disgusting. I could potentially sit on the toilet, brush my teeth in the sink and take a shower all at once if I so chose. But I don't so choose because that's just gross. The shower is basically a hole in the floor that's covered by a rusty drain thingy and the cement walls were at one time sealed, but after years of wetness, the paint is peely and puckery and it gets MOLDY and MILDEWY no matter how often I clean it and spray it with bleach. There is no air vent, so the mold grows on the ceiling, too. Did I mention it's disgusting?

So, every once in awhile I really get down to business and spray and scrub and scrub and spray and I KILL ALL THE GERMS with BLEACH and DISDAIN. But in order to do that, I have some special equipment. See? It requires that my hair is up, my eyes are covered, and that my hands come nowhere near the filth.
Did you need a closeup? Those are indeed, my ski goggles.
And I scrubbed. And scrubbed. And scrubbed. And probably got high from cleaning spray fumes, but I did the deed. And my bathroom is clean. It still LOOKS gross, but it's clean. So, when Tiny came over for HOMEMADE DONUTS. CLICK ON IT! CLICK. I command thee! I'm funny over on my cooking blog, too. He inspected and said, "Yep. It's gross. But clean gross." And that's the end of that story. In other news, it's my grandmother's 94th birthday today. She is ALL THAT.

13 comments:

GreenCanary said...

Lady. You must get yourself some Kilz primer. That stuff ROCKS SOCKS. You spray bleach on any wall that has mold in it, SPRAY THE BLEACH! And kill the mold. Kill it really dead. And then you KILZ THAT SUCKER. Paint over it. The Kilz has this killing stuff in it that really works. My parents had a similar problem in their spare bathroom, where the ceiling of the shower was all moldy because there was no air vent and it was SHEETROCK. IN THE SHOWER. So we KILZED it. And now it's beauteous.

Though they really need to get an exhaust fan in there, for reals.

melissalion said...

Oh Green Canary knows! I love Kilz. It's like totally toxic but it works like a mofo.

Portland is like your bathroom. Small and damp and moldy.

LiLu said...

Our bathroom, too, can never rise above "clean gross". So it is with a man and two cats. Sigh.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

That's another way I'm weird. I don't do bathrooms. Seriously. My husband used to do it until he couldn't keep up. Now I pay someone to do it instead!

buffalodick said...

You look like you're cleaning up 3 mile island nuke plant...

The Pollinatrix said...

That first pic of you is the funniest thing ever!

Rebecca said...

I have a friend who lived in a very tiny apartment......they called it a studio, but even a studio has more room than this apartment......The apartment was basically one bedroom with a small refrigerator in the bedroom..........and the bathroom was so small you had to get in the shower to close the bathroom door.

If I had to guess, the ENTIRE apartment was probably 12x12.

Oh, and it was in the attic of a funeral home...and you had to walk up TONS of steps to get to the attic....the stairwell was very narrow and the steps were very tall.....

Rebecca said...

I agree with the Kilz primer stuff. We had painted our old bathroom with the stuff. . . .Never had a mold problem and I take very steamy showers. . . .

legendswife said...

I wish someone would have told me about this stuff when I lived in a apartment.

E said...

Yep...Kilz rocks. Us too. Solved all

TMC said...

Everybody's right. Kilz makes a huge difference.

Also, as long as your toilet isn't beside your bed, you're already way ahead of the game.

Suburban Sweetheart said...

You're a better woman than I. I have two roommates & a gross bathroom & I'm terrified to clean it. Frankly, I'm even more terrified NOT to clean it, though...

Allie said...

Ha! That was our old shower - it still had to be cleaned, but it never actually got clean! It's so frustrating! But at least it's your shower and your dirt, you know? :)