The Countess

8:29 AM Edit This 21 Comments »
I went on another date last night. With another stranger. And even though it was kind of awkward, I would consider going out with him again if he asks. But only if he asks. This dating shit is stupid.

And in a totally different realm, Therapy Tuesday was JUST GREAT. We talked about my rage. And how it tends to come out at the wrong times and at the wrong people. She finally poked me enough for me to admit how frightened I am of being THAT ANGRY and how my fear of the anger makes me shut down so much that I never express it. Sigh. So watch the fuck out, people. I'm going to explode and spew my molten lava on you when you least expect it. Actually, the scary part is that I will end up hurting myself before I hurt another person and that's exactly why she keeps poking me with her hot stick. She's such a bitch.

While surfing the endless internet yesterday, I came across this list of titles.

Admiral, Baron, Baroness, Brigadier, Captain, Colonel, Colonel Sir, Commander, Commodore, Countess, Dame, Dr, Earl, Field Marshal Lord, General, Group Captain, Lady, Lieutenant, Lieutenant Commander, Lord, Lt-Col, Lt-Gen Sir, Maj-Gen, Major, Miss, Mr, Mrs, Ms, Msgr, Prince, Princess, Professor, Rear Admiral, Sir, Squadron Leader, The Baroness, The Countess, The Countess of, The Duchess of, The Duke of, The Earl, The Earl of, The Hon, The Hon Mrs, The Marchioness of, The Marquess of, The Revd, The Viscount, The Viscountess, Viscount, Viscountess, and Wing Commander.

And I've decided that from now on, I will be addressed as Countess Kate. So get right on that. But what I really want to know is who gets to be the Rear Admiral? What title would you pick for yourself?

21 comments:

The stories and life of a 10-toed North Dakotan said...

I call myself LadyK80.

And, K8 was my license plate in high school AND I don't live in Sioux Falls, S.D., but I do live in Jamestown NORTH Dakota. ANNND I don't know who Cowgirl and her four babies are, but I have a boyfriend named Cowboy. The similarities are endless. Holy eff.

Thanks for being you and by that I mean, thanks for being me :)

melissalion said...

I like Empress. It's not on that list, but it's my favorite. Followed by Baroness and Viscount, which is a man's title, but I like that better than Viscountess.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I read that as CountLESS Kate. hahaha. Ahem.

I think I'd have to be the Duchess of Sweets. It just sounds right.

Jen said...

Countess Kate, love it, it's so you! I think I like Duchess or Baroness, but also Lady has a traditionally elegant ring to it which is always appealing to me.

Que viva la grandeza! ;)

artemisia said...

Oh, I love Countess Kate. Very pretty.

Glad to hear you are acknowledging the hot stick and what it is poking at.

I feel like I would be a Baroness. I am most certainly not a Lady, as much as I somethings think I want to be.

LiLu said...

"This dating shit is stupid."

So profound.

And dibs on "Wing Commander."

saratogajean said...

OMG Rear Admiral.

Even in real life...WTF? How could you ever be introduced to someone and take them seriously?

I've never really been clear on what a Viscount/ess is, so perhaps I could pull that off.

BrianAlt said...

Awww!!! I wanted Wing Commander. Reminded me of the video game from the late 80s.

Fine! I'll just take Lord then.

buffalodick said...

Head Dick? I'll stick with the one I got..

TMC said...

I think I'd like to be Lady TMC. Like a rapper. Or a freak-show dressing pop star.

Sparkling Red said...

Lately my husband has taken to calling me his Purple Princess, in honour of my purple boots and jacket. That's a pretty decent title.

Cello Mama said...

If I could choose any title, I think I'd choose CEO. ;-)

MsDarkstar said...

I tend toward the title "Reverend" (which I can do because I am actually ordained).

Countess K8 is good, though.

Although, I have to admit that The Marquess of the Little Lair in the Barrio does sound captivating.

clearness said...

Whatever I'm called should go with what my daughter wants to be called "Royal Princess"....so what is the mother of a royal princess called?

The Good Cook said...

Viscountess L.

That's what I want my friends and loyal subjects to call me. Now I just need to get a few, friends and loyal subjects that is.

lacochran said...

melissalion beat me to it! Empresses have the best jewelery. That's for me. :)

Congrats on your new title. Own it!

Jennifer said...

The Honorable Mrs. - I like this. It suits for lots of situations.

Can't wait to hear more about this hot stick.

Kelly Hogaboom said...

I've been the Alpha-Bitch for some time now. It fits.

I sometimes think I get angrier and angrier as I age. What's up with that?

I hope the stranger calls you and you have a second, and awesome, date.

Allie said...

Countess Kate - I think it works. You still need a tiara.

Ink Spiller said...

Well Countess Kate you're one up on me in that you're actually dating while I'm still finding excuses not to.

Rage. It took me a long time to get a handle on it and lose that feeling of not being in control.

bustysatan said...

I call dibs on Comtesse (the French version of Countess), though I've had a boyfriend or two call me Lady Sara when trying to get back in my good graces.