A Fiery Sword Fights My Battle

8:54 AM Posted In , , Edit This 9 Comments »
I didn't win at running this weekend. I don't know if there's a lot of pollen in the air right now or if I'm just struggling with breathing, but holy. I struggled on Saturday morning with the 5K group. And I shouldn't be struggling, right? I mean, I can run for 38 minutes straight. I proved that before I ran the race. But now, going 6 minutes was like breathing torture. And then on Sunday afternoon, when I was running with the 10K group, we were supposed to do our long 4.5 mile run. Well, first of all, we started off running into a breath defying wind. I just couldn't get any down my airway. The wind was just sucking the air right out of me. It was horrid, but I persevered. I did. Because I knew in another mile, the trail would drop down into the woods and that helped. A lot.

But then the woman I was running with decided that she was done and was turning back. Okay. Solitary run. I can do that. It's what I had planned. So I plugged in my iPod and away I went. Slow and steady wins my race, right? I was still struggling with the breathing. Partly because the way I regain my rhythm is to run with my mouth shut and only breathe through my nose. It calms whatever is going on in my lungs. Except that it's getting colder now and that makes my nose run. I couldn't catch a break.

I saw two of the other runners on their way back after the turn around, and they shouted encouragement to me, telling me that I was almost half way, which always makes me happy, so I kicked it into a higher gear and rocked out to old school Eminem. (I know. Don't judge.) and smiling - met my trainer who was waiting for me at the turn around. I shouldn't have stopped, internet. I just shouldn't have. I was finally into a groove and I was breathing right, but she suggested I walk for a bit when I told her how badly I had struggled. And after that? I just couldn't get it going again. We walked almost the whole way back. I couldn't do it. I knew there were circumstances that kept me from reaching the goal (I had to go to the bathroom really, really badly, too. I wasn't going to say that, but whatever. It's my blog, right?) And when I got home, I fought the failure demons with a fiery sword. I'm not quitting, internet. I'm not. I love running. Just not all the time.

And so I leave you with my dinner. The Big Boys are finally turning red. Late, they are. Really late. But here's the premiere taste test of them. They were phenomenal. Truly. I gobbled them in like 2 mintes flat. And then I read. On the swing. Until it got so dark, I couldn't see.

9 comments:

KT said...

There is no way for me to know when I am going to have a good or bad day of running. One of my best days running when I felt like I could go forever came after a night of heavy drinking. I get 8 hours of sleep, have a good meal the night before, am sufficiently hydrated, etc. and yet have an awful run. I can never tell. But you just hope for a better run the next time.

Lemon Gloria said...

Some days just aren't running days. Some days my ass feels heavier than others. Seriously - some days it feels like it weighs twice as much and it's that much harder to haul on a run. I'm not kidding.

Also, the cold is really hard on your lungs. Do you have asthma? It really can trigger an asthma attack.

The Good Cook said...

Ask any runner and they will tell you that somedays are just not running day. That's okay. And you know what? You did not quit. Quitting would have been to hail a taxi. And you didn't do that. You made the full loop on your own two feet.

I'm so going to miss the tomatoes this winter. I never buy tomatoes in a store. Vine ripe, local grown when it comes to maters. But they are heaven, are they not?

Malaise Inc said...

Is that Fiestaware? My wife loves Fiestaware. Every time there is a new color, she gets it as a birthday/Xmas gift, with a matching set of cutlery.

melissalion said...

I think everyone has said what I was going to say -- some days are just not that day. Sometimes could swim for hours, the next day I'm winded after two laps. Just finish up and say, "not my best day," and move along.

my33people said...

I've always wondered if runners, real runners, could always run, no matter what. Because for me, it wasn't the case. It really depended on the day, how I was feeling (both physically and emotionally) and my stamina, it still does depend on a variety of things. I'm glad to hear from a real runner, it happens to her too.

Shelley said...

One of the hardest things about running is that you never know if it will be a good run - sometimes things just conspire to make it bad. But. You completed both runs. You learned something - don't stop unless you really, really, really have to (I'm learning this one myself), and with the cooler temperatures, you have to adjust your breathing. You know what? If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. I'm proud of you for running on BOTH Saturday and Sunday - that is fantastic!!!

Kristen said...

Yeah. That happens to me too. Sometimes I'm on my A-game and sometimes I'm sucking wind.

I would like you to mail me some tomatoes. Mine are really acidic now and most of them are split.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I know that run feels like failure to you ... but, it's a huge step forward to me. Training runs aren't always meant to be perfect. You're supposed to test your body. See what does and doesn't work in less than ideal conditions. Try different strategies to combat the unexpected. I say you succeeded because you learned that once you're in a groove, no matter how long it takes you to get there, you should keep running so you don't lose momentum. Believe me when I say, you're not soon going to forget that and will most definitely apply it to a future run.