There are never stickers. I was *that* woman last night, flying into my voting place 45 minutes before the polls closed. And I wasn't even at the right place. See? When I voted in the presidential election, I had just moved and hadn't changed my address yet. I figured, I'd just go to that place, right? Wrong. But the nice old ladies called the polling place and found out where I was supposed to go. Clear across town. Yep. With 45 minutes to go.
I kind of knew where it was, but this church was advertising for their Turkey Dinner. Big, huge signs about the Turkey Dinner! Everywhere, Turkey Dinner! On the corner, on the street, on the door, Turkey Dinner! They dwarfed the little "Vote Here!" sign that I finally located when I got out of my car and started casing the joint. I felt like a criminal. And it is not in the nicest of neighborhoods either. There were several vagrants casing ME while I was circling the building like a vulture. I know I am a paragon of beauty and all, but I was doing my CIVIC DUTY. I do not want to be GAWKED at while I'm being RESPONSIBLE.
So, I skip in, hand over my ID and insist that I am probably the last person on the list. My last name starting with a Z and all. She found me and said, "Oh no! You're not last!" And as I signed my name, she said, "There's exactly 10 people after you." She counted, people. Counted. Haha. They hand me the ballot and send me over to the cardboard booth on the table. The pretty little lighted ones were all being used. So, I take my number 2 pencil and fill, fill, fill the little oblong spots in and with a flourish, tip my ballot into the box. Done! The ladies say, "Wow! That was quick!" And I said, "Yep! I know what I want! Where's the stickers?" And she says, "There are no stickers. Have some candy." And I'm all, "But I wanted a sticker. How come there are never stickers?" She just shrugged. Seriously, people. Where are the stickers?
There are NEVER stickers when I vote. NEVER. I want recognition for doing my duty. I want a gold star for doing what every citizen SHOULD do. I want a reward. Fucking stickers. There are never any stickers.
Well, if you're like me, you keep stickers around for sticker emergencies. So I gave myself some. See? The fact being that I went straight home from the voting place to throw on my yoga pants and hibernate for the rest of the night. No one was going to SEE the sticker that I voted, but I WANTED A STICKER. Did you want a closer look? I even found a USA sticker! And Super Job, me! I thought a "Way to Go" would be pushing it.