There Were No Stickers

8:33 AM Edit This 11 Comments »
There are never stickers. I was *that* woman last night, flying into my voting place 45 minutes before the polls closed. And I wasn't even at the right place. See? When I voted in the presidential election, I had just moved and hadn't changed my address yet. I figured, I'd just go to that place, right? Wrong. But the nice old ladies called the polling place and found out where I was supposed to go. Clear across town. Yep. With 45 minutes to go.

I kind of knew where it was, but this church was advertising for their Turkey Dinner. Big, huge signs about the Turkey Dinner! Everywhere, Turkey Dinner! On the corner, on the street, on the door, Turkey Dinner! They dwarfed the little "Vote Here!" sign that I finally located when I got out of my car and started casing the joint. I felt like a criminal. And it is not in the nicest of neighborhoods either. There were several vagrants casing ME while I was circling the building like a vulture. I know I am a paragon of beauty and all, but I was doing my CIVIC DUTY. I do not want to be GAWKED at while I'm being RESPONSIBLE.

So, I skip in, hand over my ID and insist that I am probably the last person on the list. My last name starting with a Z and all. She found me and said, "Oh no! You're not last!" And as I signed my name, she said, "There's exactly 10 people after you." She counted, people. Counted. Haha. They hand me the ballot and send me over to the cardboard booth on the table. The pretty little lighted ones were all being used. So, I take my number 2 pencil and fill, fill, fill the little oblong spots in and with a flourish, tip my ballot into the box. Done! The ladies say, "Wow! That was quick!" And I said, "Yep! I know what I want! Where's the stickers?" And she says, "There are no stickers. Have some candy." And I'm all, "But I wanted a sticker. How come there are never stickers?" She just shrugged. Seriously, people. Where are the stickers?

There are NEVER stickers when I vote. NEVER. I want recognition for doing my duty. I want a gold star for doing what every citizen SHOULD do. I want a reward. Fucking stickers. There are never any stickers.

Well, if you're like me, you keep stickers around for sticker emergencies. So I gave myself some. See? The fact being that I went straight home from the voting place to throw on my yoga pants and hibernate for the rest of the night. No one was going to SEE the sticker that I voted, but I WANTED A STICKER. Did you want a closer look? I even found a USA sticker! And Super Job, me! I thought a "Way to Go" would be pushing it.

11 comments:

KT said...

LOL. In 2008 my polling place didn't have any stickers either and I was pissed. Last night I did get one...but then I went right home and didn't leave the house the rest of the night. But still. The sticker is important. :-)

TMC said...

don't they know that sometimes you can get free stuff if you have a sticker?! we should call somebody and raise a ruckus.

melissalion said...

They need the stickers. It would be like going to the dentist and not getting a free toothbrush. Am I right, Internet?

badmuthafudruckers.com said...

I was kind of pissed that the sticker I got was not the traditional oval "I voted" sticker; mine looked more like a sticker you'd get in the back of a Founding Fathers coloring book (with bonus sticker sheet!)

But still - I got one, and I wore it loud and proud all day long.

LiLu said...

And off I go to Etsy to build my own "emergency sticker" supply.

Cause you just NEVER KNOW.

lacochran's evil twin said...

I got a sticker. If you send me your address, I'll send it to you.

Your stickers? Very cool.

The Good Cook said...

I have never heard nor seen stickers for voting. I pulled myself out of a sick bed and voted!

I looked at all the choices and voted just the way Jim would have voted; it being All Souls Day I figured, what the hey.. I'll give you that sweetheart - just this one time.
God Bless America (and stickers)

Sparkling Red said...

Those are some kick-ass stickers. I think you should wear them every day, at least for a while. After all, you earned them!

Helen said...

Hey, at least you got a real ballot. My state's LARGEST CITY's registrars ordered only 21,000 ballots for 69,000 registered voters. The mayor had to go to court to get a judge to order that some of the polling place be kept open an extra two hours because they were PHOTO COPYING the ballots! Which, of course couldn't be read by the scanner and had to be hand counted. It's a big freaking mess and we STILL don't know who our Governor is!

I do love that you gave yourself stickers, though.

Sarita said...

Felix desperately wants I voted stickers too. One of the reasons I always try to stop in before work, is because I love wearing the sticker all day.

kilax said...

TURKEY DINNER!!!

Ha ha.

I love that you had emergency back-up stickers!