I am very sick, Internet. I had coffee with Miss M this morning. We were giggling and catching up; I was very happy. It was sunny. It was warm. It was lovely. Coffee on the veranda with one of my best friends? So beautiful. We both slept in, she was off for the day, I didn't have to work until noon. I left around 10:45 for a shower, looking forward to work and a long-lost client.
And I got sick. In the shower. I was standing there, head down, massaging conditioner into my hair, when I felt dizzy. So, so dizzy. I threw my head up like I always do, grasping the wall, and I threw up. Too much coffee and not enough food? Okay. I'll take that.
As I dressed, put on makeup and curled my hair, I got more and more sweaty. Feeling trapped and wishing I had an infusion of cold, crisp air, I determined to go into work. That's what you do, right? Just get dressed and do the deal, it will pass.
By the time I left the gas station, where I figured I better get some food into my tummy, I was dizzy and gasping for air. I got into work; my boss was sitting at the front desk, determined to take care of the things she had to get done. She, warbling on about me answering the phone, me, hanging onto the counter for dear life, when I said, "I don't feel well at all." And then promptly collapsed into the waiting chair.
I didn't want to be sick at my new job, Internet. I wanted to be the trustworthy one that always showed up no matter what. But I had no choice today. I called my doctor. And I sat at that damn front desk for an hour and 15 minutes, waiting for Miss M to come get me and take me to see him. I was grateful we weren't busy, because more than once, I put my head down, wishing I would just succumb to whatever was going on. Dizziness, shaking beyond belief, nausea and panic.
I have a virus that is affecting my inner ear. Hence, the dizziness. The shaking was too much though. When I asked about it, he said, "I know you, Kate. I've known you for seven years. You get anxious about getting sick. That's the shakiness." And I wanted to punch him in the nose. Because he's right. Ever since I got meningitis, I freak out about sickness. I went directly to diabetes, low blood sugar, pancreatitis, liver cancer, and once again, meningitis. But nothing doing. I'm simply sick. Like every other human being. There is nothing dire wrong with me that a good night's (and day's) sleep won't fix. I can take medicine for my vertigo. I can sleep until I'm not tired. And I can calm the heck down. I'm fine. Just sick. With a horrible earache and an upset stomach.
I'm so dramatic. Right?