New Life

Saratoga Jean was interviewed not that long ago and I succumbed to the thought that I have not been very entertaining of late and that I better get a move on if I want to keep my lurkers interested in reading. So. Here's the questions. Here's the answers. Now you will know me just a wee bit better. No?

1. What is an embarrassing high school moment you’ve lived through? Many of you know I was a super late bloomer in the dating department, but I did give it a whirl with one of my sister's friends (2 years older) when I was 15 or 16. I don't remember. I blocked most of it out. Anywhosits, there was lots of kissing and groping and I obviously didn't know what I was doing or know anything about my anatomy or sex. NOTHING. So, when I turn to him and say, "I have to go to the bathroom I think." And he says, "I think?" And I say," Well, it's kinda wet or something." I was shocked and horrified because I thought I might have wet my pants. He laughed. He SO TOTALLY LAUGHED. Because I didn't know what was going on with my own body. That was horrid. Completely and disgustingly horrid. I feel like that was TMI, but hey - it was one of the worst.

2. What is your favorite nickname someone else has given you? Princess. I know. I'm such a girl.

3. Which blogger would you be absolutely pee-your-pants excited about meeting IRL? Stoogepie. And he would probably want me to pee ON him, but I don't get that. It has something to do with the sexy that I don't understand.

4. You find an old oil lamp at a pawn shop marked $20; you haggle the proprietor down to $10 and buy it. After you bring it home and rub it (just for shits and giggles), a genie comes out. He tells you he is the pantry genie, and can bewitch your pantry to always be fully stocked, but only with the ingredients for one dish. Which one dish do you tell him to stock it up with? What are the ingredients? Can I have that lamp when you are done with it? (I know this is technically 3 questions. I apologize. The pantry genie gets me excited.) Homemade Cheese Pizza. But then I think I should just say pizza - because then I can manipulate the question. So homemade pizza it is. Crust mix, tomato sauce, white sauce, cheese - glorious cheese which in homemade speak means four kinds. Mozzarella, romano, parmesan and asiago. Then various states of chicken, pepperoni, onions, garlic and then the fixings for taco pizza which is the best pizza known to mankind. And yes, you can have the genie when I'm done with him. And I mean DONE with him!

5. Who would win in a fight between a unicorn and Dateline NBC’s Chris Hansen? (Keep in mind: the unicorn is abnormally strong, has a razor-sharp horn, and can fly; Chris Hansen has the power to read minds and also has a pet phoenix whose tears can heal any wound.) Explain. I don't watch tv. Like ever. So I have no idea who Chris Hansen is? So I'm going with the unicorn because anything that has razors and can fly has got my back.