Therapy Tuesday

8:25 AM Edit This 14 Comments »
My internet at home is broken y'all. And that sends me into a panic like no other. I know it shouldn't be like that. I have a new book to read, so you'd think I would have been content. But no. I had to check it every 10 minutes to "make sure."

So, I had to content myself with experimenting with the first of my green beans. And well? Nothing much can go wrong if you start like this. Butter, people. Real, honest to goodness butter. My lovaaah. Butaaah. The remaining cast of characters. Sea salt, minced garlic, red pepper flakes and toasted sesame oil. (Which smells like dirty feet, by the way. Why would something that makes food taste so good smell so very awful? WHY?
My babies. The beans. Look at them. All pretty. And then I stab them with a knife. So kind, I am.
When the butter is all nice and melty, I plopped the beans in with the minced garlic. Mmmmm.
Stirred them around for awhile on Medium to High heat, added a splash of sesame oil and the red pepper flakes and then left them alone for a few minutes.
Into a bowl with sea salt. And I gobbled them all up. Then I made another batch with green beans from the market so I could eat them for lunch today.
And there you have it. I had my way with the beans. Stabbed, cooked, and gobbled. And Gay Boyfriend brought something home for the garden last night. He and his parents have been experimenting with leaves and cement. This is the coolest looking one. I let him put it where he wanted.

I thought I wanted to write last night. And since the internet is broken, that was perfect, right? But I started reading the things I'd written before and I spiraled into blackness and well? That's bad. Really bad. So I slammed my laptop shut, got my book out and tried my very best to concentrate on it. But it didn't help much. And I saw Carolyn this morning. And we talked about the blackness and well? It's okay. Because yanno? I'm okay today. In the past, I would have stayed there and made it bigger and more troublesome than what it really is, which is just plain some sad memories that belong in perspective to the awesome that is my life today, right?

So I don't go there as often and I don't stay there as long and today is fine. Because I'm wearing a really cute dress and my hair looks really alternatively cool today. That, and I'm taking suggestions for how to talk to Cute Farmer from the farmer's market. I've seen him twice now. The first was to ask for a smaller amount of peas than what he was selling and he said sure and when I picked up a handful, he said, "That's not very many peas." And I said, "But it's just me." And then last week, he had corn by the dozen and I asked if I could just have four and he said, "That's not very much corn." And I said, "But it's just me." And well, I need a new line.


GreenCanary said...

Girl. GIRL! I have a new line for you and Cute Farmer. The next time you go and buy something and ask for a smaller amount and he says, "That's not very much *insert vegetable here*," you say, "I'd buy more *insert vegetable here* if I had someone to cook for. Care to have dinner with me? It's a win-win for you. A kick-ass meal and a larger sale." Then you smile your awesome smile and watch while he falls in love with you.

clearness said...

Think you can send those green beans my way?

Anonymous said...

I vote for GreenCanary's line. Do we know if the farmer is married or together with someone? I think you should ask him out and see what he says. Nothing ventured, nothing something something. Whatever.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Offer to show him *your* farm.

Wait, that sounds dirty.

Wait, do it!

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

Mmm, beans and butter sound great. As far as the farmer- maybe ask him how he likes his beans (corn, tomatoes, whatever)?

Non Sequitur Chica said...

Yeah, I'm not so good with pick up lines. I would probably make a sarcastic comment and hope that he makes a move!

kilax said...

Ha. I asked my husband if we were going to cook our green beans in margarine, and he was like "WHAT?!? That will take away from the taste." So we ate them plain. I know my grandma butters them up.

I am so sad we don't have more green beans. Maybe next year.

The Pollinatrix said...

I too vote for Green Canary's line.

I'm jealous of your green beans. My little garden has not produced as much of anything as I'd hoped, and now my two-year-old has destroyed all my tomatoes - she just plucked them all of the plant before they were ripe. Sigh. I will live vicariously through you.

Sparkling Red said...

I don't re-read my old journals anymore. They're so negative. I used to keep them in a plastic bin under my bed, but eventually I moved them down into our storage locker. I didn't want to be that close to all those negative thoughts while I was sleeping, in case they poisoned my dreams.

buffalodick said...

Those beans look great!

The Good Cook said...


I like Green Canary's line. And you know I think you should tell him that you write a blog and sometimes about food - AND you could also say, "well, I only have one recipe for beans... how do you cook them? cuz if I had more recipes, I could buy more beans".. Just give him an opening in the conversation to say more..

AND you know, you could just ask him what he does when he's not farming and selling produce...

You can do this.

I'm glad your dark time didn't take too long to lighten up. You have such a light about you - don't let old memories, ghosts, events bring you down. Feel it, then move on. Everyone has regrets, bad memories, inner demons.. learning to move through the darkness back into the light is a wonderful gift you can give yourself.

Peace and sunshine and gardens and beans!!

Ink Spiller said...

Like Sparkling Red I don't read my old journals anymore either. I was looking at a pile of them the other day and I thought that I ought to burn them, they contain so much blackness and negativity. I didn't want them to poison my life and how it is now even if it's just by reminding me how things were.

I'm the worst with picking up guys, a complete retard in fact, but I have noticed that the subtle stuff, like looking them in the eye and smiling works a treat. That's so much easier to "retreat" from too if you happen to be showing interest in someone who's already taken. Saves embarrassment.

Summer said...

I'm still obsessing over the butter. I love butter. A. Lot.

Lemon Gloria said...

I had a very very unhealthy approach to food and being skinny and while I'm fairly healthy now, butter still kind of makes me twitch in any kind of quantity larger than a small smear.

As for Cute Farmer - I disagree! You are saying the perfect thing to him! It's just you! You could cook for more people...but at the moment you are single and cooking for one...I think he should find this enticing, personally.