Happy Feet Friday

8:51 AM Edit This 12 Comments »
I've been going to the gym for about a year now. I joined last February, took about two weeks to screw up the courage to go in there, and started run/walking in March. I had the whole Couch to 5K thing, but after weeks of trying, I just couldn't get past running four minutes at a time. Which - at the time - seem insurmountable. I mean, when I first started, 30 seconds of running was all I could manage. Come June, Cricket told me about this running club whose goal was to run a 5K in September and I joined! So, we spent the summer months blissfully (hahaha! Humid! Hot! Hard!) running outdoors, working up to running 30 minutes at a time. We did the 5K, kept running, did another 5K in October and last November, I finished my 3rd 5K with my best time yet. Well. Cue a whole month of not running, and I found myself back at the gym. The ice is just too scary for me to consider. Plus, I like the gym. I like the safety of the treadmill. The idea that I can stop whenever I want and not have to hobble home if something goes wrong. The whole hardware in my leg and ankle thing is and will always be an issue.
 
But seriously people, clue me in. I am not a gym rat by any means. I don't spend hours and hours there, flexing and lifting and running and biking and doing planks in the corner. I do my business and leave. But isn't there something called "gym etiquette?" Is there? And I'm not talking about the whole walking around nude in the dressing room thing. I'm all whatever about that. I'm talking about odors. I realize that people sweat and possibly smell when they work out. I sweat profusely. Disgustingly so. But I don't smell. And I'm okay with a bit of work-out BO. It happens, right? I'm not talking about that either.
 
I wasn't really in the mood to run last night, but I know that if I want to do the 5 miler in March, I have to step it up - so to say. So there I was. Running 6 minutes, walking 3 minutes - the goal of which was to get to 3 miles. It wasn't so bad. I can talk myself into finishing those 6 minutes pretty easily. But right about 2.5 miles, someone stepped on the treadmill beside me. I've noticed that there is some sort of rule there. People kind of go every other one unless they're friends and gabbing it up. But the whole "OMG! It's the New Year! I must exercise!" crowd is there. I know it will thin out come February, but for now, it's not uncommon for people who don't know one another to be forced into a kind of intimacy they don't really desire. I just focus on looking straight ahead and try to ignore it, right? Well, I'm first assaulted by the odor of "unwashed down below." Not nice. Wash your PARTS, people. But fine. I'm almost done, right? And then? She passed some serious gas. SERIOUS. Gagalish stank. OMG! Fine. It will go away and I'll just finish up. People toot. That's life. BUT SHE KEPT DOING IT. Over and over. As soon as the first one would clear and I'd think, "Thank God. Just a half mile left!" and she'd let ANOTHER ONE rip. Seriously, people. Seriously! Really? At 2.8 miles, I hit the cool down button. Done. Done. And done. Workout ruined by the stink.

12 comments:

lacochran's evil twin said...

Good lord! What is wrong with that woman?! Did you give her the stink eye? (Pun intended.)

Helen said...

You should have paused your TM, tapped hers, looked her right in the eye and said, "If you are going to continue to FART, please move away from me as I was here first!" Seriously, if someone has NO etiquette for stuff like that, I don't think you need to worry about being too blunt.

Gym smells - even the idiots who wear perfume - drive me nuts.

The Pollinatrix said...

That woman seems like she must have a weird form of Tourette's syndrome.

KT said...

Ewwww. I would have definitely coughed or somehow made it known that her stink was not appreciated. How disgusting.

melissalion said...

I love this post. I hate that it happened to you, but I love this post. I agree with Helen. Blunt is best in this situation.

And yes to all the people in the gym. I went to the pool yesterday and couldn't even get a lane so I had to leave without swimming. It made me curse new year's resolutions and the people who make them.

clearness said...

I wanna gym membership

Holly said...

Oh man. I've seen some and smelled some strange shit at the gym but this takes the cake. I'm totally fine with you relieving gas when we're outside, but dude... not in the gym.

Sounds like this one has some other issues with the whole hygiene thing. Considering the unwashed parts down below.

One advantage of having to work out with people at the company gym - no one wants to be 'that guy/gal' when you see them in a meeting or walking down the hall. Helps curb some of the hijinks I've seen elsewhere.

Shelley said...

Oh good god. I would have left the TM, and been so mad that Gassy Annie pushed me out.

I like Helen's suggestion, but don't think I could bring myself to actually do it.

Congrats on your year gymiversary! That is quite a nice accomplishment. :)

Summer said...

I can't take bad smells. I can't that's so gross. She's yucky. Ten bucks says that you will eventually see her nude in the dressing room. Bush. And. All. That's how inconsiderate, rude people roll.

Kelly Hogaboom said...

That sounds unpleasant. But perhaps she has a medical issue. Or doesn't know how bad she smells! That's too bad. For everyone!

Sparkling Red said...

That is so gross! :-p

Meigan said...

Oh! This has happened to me - and the smelly perfume/cologne people that get on the treadmill right next to you when there are 10 open treadmills...

Yes, gym etiquette. *sigh*