Captain Crab was in town tonight. When he is here, I usually meet him for drinks. Apparently, he drinks martinis now. I have pink drinks. 7Up and Cranberry Juice. The bartender wanted to know if I wanted it in a "fancy glass" or a "regular pop glass." What? I have no illusions about what I'm drinking. And I want no pretense. Pop glass it is. I think that's weird. People thinking I want other people to think I'm drinking alcohol. No thank you.
But Captain Crab makes me smile. And it was a good panacea for my current bout with The Crazy. He asked me why there were no pictures of the Fertile Crescent so far this year. It didn't even occur to me that you Internettians didn't know I had put it in. And that's been part of this descent into depression. I put it in, knowing that it would help me, but I'm not excited like I have been in years past. I dig in the dirt and I hope for some peace, but it hasn't been forthcoming. But I keep doing it because I know it's what I need, right?
So, here's a picture. I have radishes, beets, snow peas, a roma tomato plant, a cherry tomato plant, a Lemon Boy, an Ultimate Opener and Green Sausage tomato plants, summer squash, spaghetti squash, cucumbers, basil, oregano, chives, lavender, and nastursiums. I planted lettuce as well. We shall see. My pepper plant has already been decimated by something that stomped on it.
When I took inventory, I realized that my closet vomiting my clothes all over my bedroom, my lack of vacuuming, the dishes piled in the sink; these are all symptoms of my inability to manage life right now. And Chakra Queen was right. It was time to reassess and take action. I'm feeling better. My clothes are put away. I have done most of the dishes and I finally cleaned. Some. Not all. But some.
And school is okay.
I'm going to be fine. I know this intellectually, but I'm hard pressed to accept it emotionally.