Internet? I am moving! I told Gay Boyfriend tonight. I was sick to my stomach to tell him. Mostly because I love him so much. We have four years of history together, and he has been my saving grace many nights of my early sobriety. But it's time. And I have a place. A two bedroom walk out basement apartment. All mine. New. All new. So new, that she asked me to go pick out paint colors. What?! I don't think I've ever lived in a place where I got to pick my colors. And I'm at a loss. I'm thinking chocolate brown for the living room and sage green for the kitchen, but the bedroom with the light? The office (second bedroom! Holy!) no idea. Darker and wrapping into warmness, or bright light for those dark winter nights? I don't know! I'm almost scared, I think.
This is a big change for me. The fact that Gay Boyfriend was not mad? Or pouty? So big. I was dreading telling him.
But now, I have to think about moving. Sorting. Storing. I refuse to move anything I don't want. Clothes. Books. Camping gear. Bedding. Kitchen crap. I have no idea. It's overwhelming.
But I want it. I do. I'm holding on to that. Right?